by Lori Milner
If I asked you to describe your ideal day, could you do it in detail? It sounds like an obvious question but the answer is only clear when you have given yourself sufficient time to find the answer. The answer is not in Google, Instagram, Pinterest or Facebook (that’s everybody else’s curated lifestyle). A lot of the time, we have goals that create the roadmap for our days and years but have you stopped to ask yourself if this is your goal or are you trying to please someone else? That someone else can be the ‘you’ of 5 years ago and now your priorities have shifted but you haven’t sat down long enough on your own to catch up to this fact.
I have written about journaling before but seeing as it is 2020, it’s time to bring it back with fresh eyes. Journaling has been a powerful tool for me for many years, I used to think it served me only when I needed it if I was feeling stuck. What I have come to realise is that it’s up there with oxygen. It gives me clarity, focus and an outlet to really understand myself better. When you know yourself, it makes decision making easier and saying no much easier.
Let’s go back to the first question of lifestyle design. This is a brilliant prompt to start with if journaling is new to you or if you feel awkward writing. Personally I think it is less about writing and more about spending time with yourself not distracted by technology. This question of the ideal day makes you understand where you want to spend your time, with who, on what tasks and what energises you. A key part of lifestyle design is how you want to feel at the end of each day.
Often, you feel this need to find your purpose because you haven’t figured out this basic concept – how do I want each day to unfold?
If you are currently feeling overwhelmed, stressed and out of balance – then this is a great place to start to shift that. Most of us want to end the day feeling content, accomplished, energised and joyful. If there is a huge discrepancy between these states, ask yourself why…
What are you spending your time on that drains you? Or an even better question is who are you spending your time with that drains you?
If your ideal day looks nothing like your current day – again this is brilliant feedback. Perhaps you have a book inside you or you love to paint and create artworks. Are you creating space in the day for these passion projects? Even if it is not your goal to do this professionally – purely for your own creative expression and enjoyment. You can’t have the mind-set that one day when I make enough money, I can start to take time for the activities I love. You need to adapt your days now – and usually mornings are ideal for these activities. Can you wake up an hour earlier to create these special pockets of time for yourself? Can you allocate some time on a weekend that is for your craft?
The way to design your ideal life begins with taking charge of your calendar. Once you know the activities you want to include and equally eject from your days – use your calendar to allocate the appropriate slots to. You can’t wake up and then figure out these things. If it gets scheduled, it gets done – everything from life to business goals.
If your ideal day includes a path or career you don’t have the skills for – again, amazing feedback and an opportunity to course correct. Write down in your journal – what are the core skills I need to develop in order to achieve my goal? Perhaps you are in your ideal career but realise you could brush up on industry skills to make you unbeatable. For example sales skills, negotiation, interpersonal communication, etc. then allocate time in your calendar for learning and acquiring these skills.
Clarity brings personal power because when you know what you want and you have a plan to achieve it, you create progress. It is progress over time that energises us. We cannot expect anyone or anything to ignite us. It is being aligned to your purpose with consistent action and progress that will enable you to create the life you want.
All it takes is 15 minutes, a pen and paper…
Here’s to creating your ideal life,
Warm wishes
Lori
LORI MILNER is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.
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