by Lori Milner
In the practice of Yoga, there is a principle about contentment called Santosha. This quote sums it up beautifully - “From an attitude of contentment, unexcelled happiness and joy are obtained.”As a self-leadership expert, I make sure I implement the principles I read and study so I can internalise it and become the change I want to make. My favourite quote which I am paraphrasing is ‘Information is not enough – otherwise we would all be millionaires with 6 packs’. It’s not enough to read about these principles, we need to integrate them and apply them in order to see results of personal growth.
This principle of contentment has probably been one the most profound for me. There was a period where no matter what I was doing, it felt like it wasn’t the right thing. A meeting in my diary meant ‘wasted time’ because it took time away from my writing or project I was working on at the time. It’s an exhausting way to operate because I constantly felt like I was running on a treadmill and not going anywhere.
Contentment is a tool to truly bring you into the present moment and not only write about gratitude in a journal but actually experience it daily. My son started grade 1 this year and my daughter is still in pre-primary which means he finishes an hour after her. We sit together in the playground, have a picnic lunch and she plays on the jungle gyms while we wait for my son to finish. Self-awareness brings clarity of thought and an ability to be the observer of my thoughts. I have made a conscious decision to practice contentment and just enjoy this special time together.
It’s not an easy headspace to be in because let’s face it – life is hectic and we all have tons on the go. I have 2 simple choices – focus on what I could be doing - the meetings I could have, writing I could do and workshops I could be facilitating or simply be content and grateful. The way to make the transition is 3 words. I get to…
I get to sit with her and have a picnic on the grass. It serves me much better and her for that matter. I know the Lori of pre 2020 may have felt frustrated and allow my focus to wonder. When this happens, I would instantly lose the ability to be present because my state changes. When your emotions move into frustration, fear, anger, anxiety – you are never at your best. This comes across in your level of patience, tone of voice and body language.
Another way to think about contentment in the moment is simply acceptance. It’s easy to be grateful and peaceful when the situation is enjoyable like spending an extra hour with my daughter. But what happens when you are in a more stressful situation or someone lets you down or you are faced with a real challenge? Practice contentment in the moment by acceptance. Letting go of the need to control. The truth is sometimes all you can control is your breathing. Acceptance is about making an audit of what you can control in this moment and what you can’t. Perhaps you can’t control the traffic jam you are stuck in but you can decide to put on an inspirational podcast or call a friend you haven’t had time for lately.
Remember, when you do lose yourself in the present moment and the situation feels beyond overwhelm, just remind yourself – I get to...
It doesn’t change the fact we face challenges but when you can allow yourself to be aware of your focus and mind-set, this is the key to enjoying your days fully. Not putting contentment on the finalisation of a project but the joy in the day to day activities.
Here’s to the things you get to do…
Warm wishes
Lori
LORI MILNER is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.
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