There is no Virtue in Over-functioning: Ask for Help

April 21, 2024 Melanie Hawken

Something I am stepping into more and more is Deservingness. My Deservingness muscle is still ridiculously underdeveloped. I strained this very weak muscle twice this morning before my feet even touched the ground. Thankfully, it is a lens with which I am training my mind to observe myself and the interactions and experiences I live through each day.

Needing People Is Healthy

April 12, 2024 Melanie Hawken

Many moons ago, a colleague described me as being FIERCELY INDEPENDENT. She was challenging my modus operandi. She was kindly admonishing me. I knew this and I understood this. Yet, in some twisted corner of my mind, I construed her admonishment as a compliment.

Confusion, Frustration and Breakthrough go hand-in-hand

March 18, 2024 Melanie Hawken

Therefore Frustration = Breakthrough = Excitement!

My coaching business has been a dance of confusion, frustration, and breakthrough. Before I had recognised the pattern, I would throw in the towel and dismiss myself as being out of my depth, not having what it takes, and wholly incapable of closing the gap between where I was and where I needed to be.

The Miracle of Synchronicity

March 17, 2024 Melanie Hawken

Our logical mind is an imbecile. Too slow to see what is happening right in front of of it, only to be gobsmacked when it finally catches up by the clues strewn all around it. This is the story of my logical mind this past week.

5 Keys to Unlocking Resilience

March 9, 2024 Melanie Hawken

What enables some people to emerge from challenges with their lives recreated, and even strengthened, while others crumble in a crisis? This is such a vital question for anyone who is seeking a rewarding relationship with their career, leadership, loved ones, and life if general. We live in a world where things change at unprecedented speeds; and resilience and flexibility are becoming essential life skills, without which we never be able to live beyond our survival zones, let alone in our comfort zones.

6 Ways to Optimise Your Well-being

March 2, 2024 Melanie Hawken

As I started writing the title to this post, I was merrily typing out the words “6 quick and easy ways to claim back your wellbeing”. As if by intuition, my pointing finger defiantly punched the backspace key. It doesn’t feel quick, and some of it is not easy. Essential, Yes! Very Definitely ‘Yes’. Quick and easy? Not when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by never-ending to-do lists and people who seem to think you’re made of some marvellous stretchy substance that can get to everything. Creating and maintaining optimal well-being is a goal for the vast majority of people I know, and it is vital to recovering and staving off burnout. And yet, universally, in one way or the other, well-being is something we all struggle with most.

Overcome your Recency Bias

December 18, 2022 Melanie Hawken

As we move through the month of December and begin to wrap up 2022, now is a great time to take a moment to pause and reflect on the year that was. It’s something we can easily skip over in the busyness that typically descends on us this time of year, but I encourage you to create some space for yourself to reflect on what went well, what you achieved, what you want to celebrate, and what you want to release before you begin 2023.

Breathe

September 4, 2022 Melanie Hawken

Deep, slow, rhythmic breathing is a powerful tool when it comes to stress, anxiety and overwhelm. And I get it. Your life is complex, and you have demands being batted at you from all corners of the universe, figuratively, and now thanks to the internet, literally as well. [Thank you Internet]

Aligning your life with what feels like purpose to you

July 22, 2022 Melanie Hawken

Over the past 2 days I've shared some thoughts about exploring and discovering your purpose. For most of us, this is neither easy, nor comfortable. It requires us to see ourselves without the conditioning that has shaped us throughout our lives. No mean feat. But if we miss this step in the process discovering our purpose remains an intellectual ideal that becomes a point of pain, frustration and despair.

Exercise your Super Power

July 10, 2022 Melanie Hawken

“Choosing” is the most important activity of your mind. "Choosing" is the most important activity of your mind. Yes, I wrote that twice. Because it is that important. I'll write it again. "Choosing" is the most important activity of your mind. Whether you are exercising choice in the moment or in respect of the bigger picture, choice is a proclamation to your subconscious mind and a prayer to the universe. Choice is the mechanism with which you harness and focus your resources and it is how you collaborate and co-create with forces beyond the comprehension of your logical mind.

Create your underlying theme

June 26, 2022 Melanie Hawken

Determining what our purpose is in life can be one of the hardest questions that we as humans are compelled to answer. It is the guiding light we seek to help us create value that is meaningful to us far beyond the remuneration, adoration and adulation we may enjoy from our worldly pursuits. Our purpose is also where we are challenged the most.

Be Fascinated With Yourself

June 18, 2022 Melanie Hawken

Sometimes you just have a good day. Today was such a day!

On the brink of burnout and with a catastrophic loss of confidence after some challenging life events, my client reached out for some support. She wanted more confidence and to be more effective, more efficient, and more organised. According to her, she couldn't organise a drinks-party in a brewery. She lamented that she had been such a go-getter, but now was such a disappointment ... to herself, her family and her boss.

Moving Matters

June 11, 2022 Melanie Hawken

By now, this probably doesn’t need mentioning, but I am mentioning it anyway. Moving matters. As a natural stress reliever, moving matters for your body, your mind, heart and soul. It is one of those mysterious things. When we get moving, it’s a restorative experience for us ALL ROUND.

Close Shop

May 13, 2022 Melanie Hawken

Gone are the days when we clocked into our work day in the morning and clocked into the rest of our lives in the late afternoon. There was a clear separation between home life and work life and we could attend to the different parts of our lives without it being contaminated by the other parts of our lives. Where we were was where we were and we were able to give it our full attention.

What are you Avoiding? And, why avoiding difficulties doesn’t work

May 1, 2022 Melanie Hawken

Avoidance is one of the more sinister patterns that we adopt. Firstly, by avoiding the discomfort we’re trying to escape, we ironically make it permanent in our lives. Secondly, as a function of avoidance, we make our power to improve our situation invisible to ourselves. We make the cycle of pain and avoidance perpetual and even permanent for ourselves.

I Apologize

March 3, 2022 Melanie Hawken

They say that confession is good for the soul. If only it weren’t so darned embarrassing! I’m constantly evangelizing and advocating rituals and routines that set us up for alignment with our best intentions for ourselves. And yet, here I am, slowly emerging from an almost week long bender of crisps and TV. Don’t ask me what I watched. I vaguely recall the Romanoffs, but I was indiscriminately captivated and captured by crap. As the new week rolled in, I yearned to come back to myself and to my mission, but the inner chatter of regret and guilt was thick, and it throttled my efforts to return to self and to sanity. I had to find a way to move forward, but I was stuck. Thankfully a friend dropped a gem that was like smelling salts to my fogged-up brain. She had counselled that “you can’t change what you have done; only what you are going to do”. Indeed. Thank you, Friend.

The Myth of Always Being on the Hustle

January 16, 2022 Melanie Hawken

“We cannot see our reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.” — Taoist Proverb

Maybe, like me, you were socialized to believe that working harder and hustling more were the keys to success? I can't quite trace back to where this settled into my psyche as the modus operandi, but I remember hearing from my parents that the devil would find work for my idle hands. I wasn’t a fan of the devil, so I kept busy. And then there was 80s and 90s tv with the 'I'll rest when I'm dead' battle cry.

You Cannot Do Your Life Wrong

December 22, 2021 Melanie Hawken

I give thanks to all the teachers that came to me in the form of my mistakes.

Say after me: 'You cannot do your life wrong!'

This is a truly tough one. For ALL of us! Especially if you've become addicted to self-deprecation and self-persecution. One of the biggest inhibitors of self-love and personal power is shame. The online dictionary defines shame as "a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour". No doubt, Shame is a powerful emotion that can cause us to feel defective, unacceptable, even damaged beyond repair.

Are You a Workaholic?

July 30, 2021 Melanie Hawken

If 2020 were a person, he would no doubt be in therapy, and not simply because it has become the butt-end of countless jokes and the face of endless memes. No, 2020 would be in therapy because it has had to shoulder the blame for upending ‘normality’ and wreaking havoc on legions of lives, households, careers and businesses across the globe.

Create Yourself, and then, Re-Create Yourself

April 25, 2021 Melanie Hawken

“Life is not about Finding Yourself, It is about Creating Yourself. “ — George Bernard Shaw

As soon as your mother knew that your arrival was on the horizon, she started to have thoughts, ideas and dreams about you and for you. The fashioning of you began. Without your involvement. Without your awareness. Without your consent. As your young life unfolded, chapters were being written for you and yet you were told that this book, this life, is yours.

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