by Safiyyah Boolay-Jappie
Therefore Frustration = Breakthrough = Excitement!
My coaching business has been a dance of confusion, frustration, and breakthrough. Before I had recognised the pattern, I would throw in the towel and dismiss myself as being out of my depth, not having what it takes, and wholly incapable of closing the gap between where I was and where I needed to be.
There are two spaces in which the confusion and frustration threatened to capsize me: the tech aspects of my business and identifying my niche and my message. These sent me to the depths of despair, and there was a part of me that couldn’t see beyond my incompetence and confusion. Thankfully, I learnt to make peace with the voice of doom and gloom, and I persevered, and now, I not only love these aspects of my business, but I am infinitely grateful for the journey that these frustrations had sent me on.
I can’t tell you how frequently I’ve wanted to toss my laptop through window! But I now know the dance. Frustration precedes breakthrough! So now, when I start to feel that sense of frustration, I lean into the realisation and awareness that a breakthrough is coming. I breathe differently and instead of quitting and throwing in the towel. I offer myself some grace and I have learnt to become patient with myself and to make space for the breakthrough to emerge.
This may mean putting the piece of work down for a while and picking it up again when the dots start to connect; It may look like having a chat with someone, and decanting my confusions and frustrations; It may look like play, laughter, and a bit of fun to relax a stressed corner of my mind. It means believing in my mission and in myself just a little bit more, knowing that the obstacle [confusion & frustration] is part of the path.
My new-found relationship with confusion and frustration is one of the most empowering shifts that I have adopted. Clarity, breakthrough, confusion, and frustration is a partnership, without which I cannot evolve.
If you find yourself in similar tussle between your dreams and confusion and frustration, I invite you to adopt this reframe:
Frustration and confusion precede breakthrough.
Safiyyah Boolay-Jappie is a life coach, based in South Africa. She helps high achieving, ambitious women to create impactful careers without sacrificing their well-being, themselves, their relationships, and quality of life. She helps women to beat burnout and to thrive. Having worked in the corporate world for 20 years, most of these in complex leadership roles whilst raising two children, she understands the demands being juggled by professional women, both in their professional and personal lives. Today, she wants to share those learnings with other women through her personal coaching and training.
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