by Lori Milner - author, entrepreneur, thought leader and founder of Beyond the Dress
I came across a podcast where leadership guru, Simon Sinek, was being interviewed by Tony Robbins. He mentioned a concept I hadn’t heard of before - ‘Care-frontation’. In my research, I came across a great definition that characterizes it as follows...
- Confronting done with care and respect
- Challenging the other in a healthy and supportive way
- I care more about you than having my hands not sweat…
- I care enough about you to enter into a conversation with you that I’m not sure where it’s going to go and how it’s going to go…
- I care more about you than staying in my own physical comfort zone…
I want you to think about this concept the next time you have to give feedback to someone, be it in a personal or professional capacity. Critical feedback is helpful as long as it’s offered with care and support. But the feedback that comes from jealousy or insecurity or arrogance or without any real knowledge of you? Ignore it. And if you’re a manager, your first duty is to do no harm. A manager’s job is to remove the obstacles that prevent people from making their maximum contribution. That’s as good a definition as I’ve ever heard.
And yet, sometimes, we are the obstacle. As managers or business owners, we’re often the ones who stand in judgment of other people and their work. And when we’re too hard on someone or watch too closely or correct too often or focus on the mistakes more than the successes, then we sap that person’s confidence. Without confidence, no one can achieve much. Catch someone doing seven things right before you point out one thing they’re doing wrong. Keep up that seven to one ratio, and you’ll keep your employees moving in the right direction. Also, always start with the positive feedback first before launching into the one negative thing or area they need to work on. For example, ‘you did x really well, can we chat about how you handled ‘y’ situation?’
Giving feedback is critical and instrumental in developing people but remember to make sure it is done in a ‘Care-frontational’ way.
Here’s to owning your feedback.
Warm wishes,
Lori
LORI MILNER is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.
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