by Lori Milner
If you're honest with yourself, how much time do you spend scrolling social media? Your intention is to do an innocent 'quick' check-in, but before you know it, you're well over the thirty-minute mark despite having more urgent tasks. This insight has come up repeatedly when I ask my clients to do a time audit of a typical day. These are not fresh-out-of-college graduates but professionals across all levels and industries.
Judging yourself that you should know better doesn't change the fact that you engage in the behaviour. Here are some ideas for managing the triggers that lead you there. Once you understand the why, you can make better choices as to how you can spend your time:
What do you do in transition moments?
When you finish a meeting, what's the first thing you do? Do you check your emails and messages? Do you go straight to scrolling for some relief, or do you go and get some water and take a brain break?
Always consider intention versus impact. You intend to escape from the day for a few minutes, but the impact can cost you hours of distraction.
When you're on autopilot and don't even realise your habit, it's hard to track how you got onto the scrolling in the first place. When you bring self-awareness to your actions, you can begin to make better choices.
Manage your environment
How can you manage your environment to set yourself up for success? If you know you can't help yourself, consider removing those apps from your phone completely.
What if you only have these apps on your computer to better manage your transition moments or when lying in bed at night and the temptation is too strong to scroll if you can't sleep?
I had a client who was addicted to online shopping, and so to manage the environment of mindlessly buying out of boredom because she couldn't sleep, she deleted the app completely.
Nir Eyal's book Indistracable also suggests putting your social apps off your home screen, so you don't get tempted when you see unread messages or notifications when you look at your phone after meetings or even when checking the time.
The key to mastering your environment is to know yourself and, better yet, be honest with yourself about your habits and remove the triggers.
Set a limit
There's nothing wrong with checking into your social media apps, but decide in advance how long you will spend there before moving on to your other commitments. If you can't trust yourself to keep this promise, you can download apps to manage this, and the phone will lock the app for you after an allotted amount of time.
What need are you meeting?
One of my clients complained of a severe lack of energy; when we unpacked her evening routine, it consisted of at least two hours of social media scrolling.
When I dug deeper, I asked her much connection she has with work colleagues, friends and family. It turns out very little as her team is remote and only comes into the office every two weeks, and that's not even a guarantee that they are all there.
She sat in her office at home daily with little connection to friends and family. How does this link to scrolling the socials? It is a way to create a connection to yourself and other people.
What's the antidote? For my client, we brainstormed ways for her to increase the connection in her life by working at coffee shops on some mornings and going into the office more frequently even if her team weren't there. She started contacting friends and family through a daily WhatsApp to check-in.
Apart from seeking external connections, she blocked out time in her day for self-care. This included walking, meditation, and yoga.
If you feel the same frustration against social media, be honest if you, too, have been avoiding connection to others or with yourself.
What can you put in place to meet these needs more positively? Again, social media is fine, but understand why you are there and if it's filling a bigger gap that's missing for you.
Final thoughts
Social media is a fantastic tool and can be a source of joy if used for the right reasons.
This is not to make you anti-social media but to spark an awareness of how you use it and why. It's not eliminating it but getting curious if something more needs to be added to your life.
Here's to knowing yourself,
Warm wishes,
Lori
Lori Milner is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.
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