by Phindile Ndlovu-Tapula
I lovingly challenge you to randomly ask people how they are doing. I bet you the majority will be complaining! I used to have a habit of replying “Eish, I am trying” until someone asked,” When are you ever good or well?” I was stunned, I was good and well most days, but I often felt the need to not say it and opted for this mediocre which served my mental wellbeing in no way. Because I was saying it , I ended up feeling it. I was going about my days barely making it, surviving, trying.
Being negative is so easy, it almost feels like second nature. It is as if life is a trap - traffic, spilling coffee on your white blouse, toddler throwing a tantrum, difficult work environment, economy, the pandemic - we have every right to be negative don’t you think?
I’m here to tell you that you must be intentional in what you say, what you talk about, and to yourself. The words after I AM are so important. Being negative is easy and thats why most people do it. Vibrating higher is a choice and you can make that choice today.
We choose our fruits more wisely than what we say about ourselves. I pick and choose my apples, I truly take my time, but when it came to what I thought about myself, my state of being and my wellness was by default. I let my mind take control, choosing my mood for me, ruminating, and pondering on all negative thoughts.
I also had a habit of saying “I am so broke” and I will be honest, I was right - I was not sure where my money was going, and I ended up scrambling for coins before my payday. I knew I wanted to make better financial decisions, but my self-talk was paralyzing me. My self-talk was influencing my lifestyle. Until I became more intentional!
Practice saying,” I am well!” The more you say this, the more your brain will believe it. You will deal with stress, anxiety better. You will feel well and be able to take on challenges. I challenge you to give it try.
Practice saying, “I am making good financial decisions” and you will be more careful on what you spend your money on.
Practice saying, “I am joyful” You will see yourself seeing opportunities in a storm, remaining faithful when it’s bleak and with a spring in your step.
Like all things, Practice makes “permanent”. It will take a while and here is the thing, it is not about the destination but the journey. Being positive and mindful takes time. It not about being always positive but rather about being aware when you drift away and become negative, and slowly bringing yourself back to positivity and to mindfulness.
All the best, I am in the trenches with you.
Phindile Ndlovu–Tapula is passionate about Community Development pertaining skills development and education for the youth. She is experienced in driving life changing community development campaigns. Passionate about self-development and leadership, she works and speaks with young people across the Gauteng Province in South Africa, motivating and coordinating her vision and goal setting workshops through her organization, Bhekizenzo Foundation. Her skillset is based on project design, brand awareness and organizational surveys, amongst many others. Phindile has strong, professional media and communications expertise, particularly with event coordination and campaign strategy planning. She has obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Political Studies and Sociology at the University of Witswatersand Johannesburg. Learn more.
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