by Phindile Ndlovu-Tapula

Motherhood is not a full-time job, and it is not a job, period. I often hear and read people calling Motherhood a job and I get really offended. I get offended because I wish it were, but it is not, okay? It is not!

There are no leave days. On days where you are tired and experiencing burnout - you are still a mom. On the days where you are sick - you are still a mom. On days where you lose family or loved ones and are grieving - you are still a mom. Every day, every minute, you are a mom. You are constantly thinking about nurturing, helping, and guiding your little ones and not so littles ones to be safe, to grow, to learn and to live up to their highest potential. Some days you must be a cheerleader, and, on some days, you may be a punching bag or a shoulder to cry on. When you freak out, everyone loses it. When you sneeze, the whole family get the flu. There is no way this is a full-time job!

There is no consulting with a Human Resource Specialist when there is conflict and your child refused to eat their veggies or throws tantrums at the shops. There is no resigning or changing career paths.

There are no weekends where you can pause and see motherhood again the next Monday. We show up as Moms all the time. Sometimes we will show up with a stain on our clothing. Sometimes we do groceries and realize we can’t pack it in our car boot because it is filled with balloons for the birthday party. This was me this morning, I ran to the shops and when I was done, I realized I had no space because my boot was filled with balloons from the weekend where we celebrated my son’s birthday. The vlog is up on my YouTube Channel!

Look, Motherhood is part of who we are, part of what we do every day, every second. We think about the welfare and wellness of our families during meetings, while taking the shower, while eating out on a rare date with our significant others. It is our highest calling and I say this because if we get it wrong, we will ruin and destroy someone’s life! When we refuse to grow and allow motherhood to mold us, we will fight it and resist the changes. When we resist, we will grow to be more resentful. A resentful mom is not a nurturing mom or helping the child to be an independent and thriving human.

So why do we call it a job? This is because we are constantly measuring and assessing ourselves, competing with other moms, letting motherhood compete with the other roles we have taken on. We think we should stop being a mother at work or in our businesses. I think we should stop this because being a mom is great, mothers are nurturers - imagine nurturing your business? Imagine nurturing your strengths and unique characteristics that make you awesome?

I challenge moms to embrace everything that comes with motherhood and allow it to be a lesson and assignment for our promotion and growth. Now I am a mom and I know that it is not easy, but it can be done - it is better done!

All the best working moms, I am in the trenches with you.

Phindile Ndlovu–Tapula is passionate about Community Development pertaining skills development and education for the youth. She is experienced in driving life changing community development campaigns. Passionate about self-development and leadership, she works and speaks with young people across the Gauteng Province in South Africa, motivating and coordinating her vision and goal setting workshops through her organization, Bhekizenzo Foundation. Her skillset is based on project design, brand awareness and organizational surveys, amongst many others. Phindile has strong, professional media and communications expertise, particularly with event coordination and campaign strategy planning. She has obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Political Studies and Sociology at the University of Witswatersand Johannesburg. Learn more.