by Phindile Ndlovu–Tapula

When we switch on our phones and open our social media applications we are bombarded with many people who seem to just always get it right. We often feel the pressure to act as though we have cracked the code, our businesses are booming, and we are eating healthily.

I have on few occasions projected that I have all my ducks in a row. I have taken out starch from my plate for a social media post and put it right back after I have posted. I have spoken on mindfulness during the times where I am unable to regulate my emotions. I have talked about gratefulness when all I have done that week is complain about everything, including having 2 jobs. I know what you are thinking. How can she be complaining about having two jobs when many have lost theirs due to Covid-19? The honest answer is that, I have not cracked the code. It is crazy that I thought I had to fake it to make it.

I am learning, sometimes relapsing but definitely moving forward. I have come to understand and accept that I am exactly where I want to be. I am making the amount of money I believe I deserve. I am impacting the number of people I believe I can impact. It starts with me. Perhaps, many people reading this will disagree and I get it - I do not know everyone’s situation but I know with myself, I am equally responsible for my life and how it currently looks.

I am saying this because if we go around in life, waiting for life to happen for us; for our businesses to grow without us putting in the hours; for our health to improve when we do not watch our diet or exercise- we are truly doing ourselves and our legacies a disservice!

So, I am going back to the drawing board - literally. I am going to draw a vision board again, yes again! I am a big believer that visualization awakens dreams and goals that have fallen by the wayside. As a mom, goals and dreams fall by the wayside far too easily.

I am blogging again, speaking my truth and I will be hosting virtual meetings with moms to let them know that it is okay to press “reset”. This year (2020) has been filled with a lot of sad news and losing sight of ourselves and our dreams are even more dire.

So, completely authentic this time, completely vulnerable - welcome to my world as a working mom! No pressure from someone else’s highlights on social media and no beating myself up for falling off the wagon. Let us all be ready to get up, again and again. Therefore, let’s embrace falling, again and again.

Phindile Ndlovu–Tapula is passionate about Community Development pertaining skills development and education for the youth. She is experienced in driving life changing community development campaigns. Passionate about self-development and leadership, she works and speaks with young people across the Gauteng Province in South Africa, motivating and coordinating her vision and goal setting workshops through her organization, Bhekizenzo Foundation. Her skillset is based on project design, brand awareness and organizational surveys, amongst many others. Phindile has strong, professional media and communications expertise, particularly with event coordination and campaign strategy planning. She has obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Political Studies and Sociology at the University of Witswatersand Johannesburg. Learn more.