by Phindile Ndlovu, Founder and Director of Bhekizenzo Foundation
Facing the same dilemma too? We actually don’t have to. A few weeks ago, I wrote on how moms can use screen time to get some work done. Screen time is awesome in the sense that your child gets entertainment, learns and sees new things but too much of it can really disempower your child. So, what do we do?
Screen time does not replace playtime
Using screen time to edit a 5-page document for the next 45 minutes is okay. Then after that you better get up and parent and ensure your child is feeling appreciated and valued. An hour a day of uninterrupted playtime is powerful. Leave the cell phone in the bedroom, switch off the TV and/or play some uplifting music.
Children need to play with their parents. They need to see their moms, especially, vibrating higher, feeling youthful and not taking themselves too seriously. Our babies need to see us fall and laugh about it so they can learn that life is not some planned event that has to be perfect to the tee. I am in the event space and even those never go 100% according to the plan.
Keep it short, positive and educational
So how long is long? With the Covid-19 Lockdown, we have bumped it up, one hour during the day and one hour before bed. During the day, he hardly watches, he’d rather follow me around cleaning and goes back to the TV as soon as I ask him to help.
My son is too young for adult cartoons, he gets bored. He wants to see cute cars and young superheroes. I really try to keep it positive, no guns and active fighting.
I love shows that have a good morale to the story, teaching children good manners and hygiene. I look for the language too. I love cartoons that use good diction and less slang. Screen time can be awesome!
Quality over quantity= Mindfulness
Ahh this has changed my life. I am prone to stress, I used to make big deals out of small things. As a parent who needs to be vibrating higher for my son, I had to learn to make my soul smile despite the anxiety and stress. Learning to be fully present has allowed to see that most of what I think and stress about, is all up in my head.
I now understand that not every thought is the truth. The mind is a bizarre thing, but it can be trained or rather used for its benefits which are to co-create the life you want and feel you deserve.
All it takes is to be fully engaged with what is happening now, this moment.
When you then parent from this state of mind, an hour with your child during playtime is all your baby needs for their bucket of love. Teenagers? You would be so surprised at how smart and thoughtful your children are. Having an engaged conversation, will fill that bucket of love too.
Sounds pretty easy if you ask me. It is not, because in order for any of these tips to work and give you results- you must practice them over and over again for at least 3 months. No, I do not believe in the 21day rule, not when you are a mom anyway. On a more serious note, it is not meant to be easy, you will want to snooze, eat the chocolate, let them eat anything they ask= when you do fall, get back up and start your day 1 again, but this time, wiser.
Phindile Tapula is passionate about Community Development pertaining skills development and education for the youth. She is experienced in driving life changing community development campaigns. Passionate about self-development and leadership, she works and speaks with young people across the Gauteng Province in South Africa, motivating and coordinating her vision and goal setting workshops through her organization, Bhekizenzo Foundation. Her skillset is based on project design, brand awareness and organizational surveys, amongst many others. Phindile has strong, professional media and communications expertise, particularly with event coordination and campaign strategy planning. She has obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Political Studies and Sociology at the University of Witswatersand Johannesburg. Learn more.
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