by Lori Milner

The most important habit I have developed over the years that has given me more time in my day, more ‘me time’ and more energy, it’s this – waking up earlier. This is sacred time when no one else is awake and it’s the only gap I have in my day to truly focus on developing myself. Self-leadership can’t be found in a one day seminar or a book you read a few years ago, it is a daily discipline. Now, no one is going to give you this time. It has to be consciously carved into your day. I know you are thinking ‘It’s easier said than done’ – fair enough. So here are some tips on how to actually get yourself to wake earlier.

Manage the self-talk

When the alarm goes off thirty or sixty minutes earlier than you’re used to, it’s going to feel uncomfortable in the beginning. But the way you manage your self-talk will make the difference between you sustaining the habit or giving up after a few days. I’ve mentioned in a previous post that author and psychologist Marisa Peer teaches that the mind likes what is familiar and dislikes what is unfamiliar. When the alarm goes off – tell yourself ‘I am making waking up at 6am familiar’. Even if you know you are somewhat lying to yourself, the mind will do what you tell it to. Your alternative is to tell yourself how terrible this is, it’s a punishment and you deserve to lie in.

You can link your self-talk to the goal in question – ‘I am making being more productive, healthier, fitter - familiar’ – fill in the appropriate words that resonate with you. You can say ‘super successful people wake up early, I am making being successful familiar’.

What’s your why?

When the alarm goes off early, it will be difficult initially BUT only for about 90 seconds. Now those 90 seconds will feel like eternity and you need a driving force to push you through it. Remind yourself – this is why I am making waking up earlier familiar. This is what I want to achieve and what it means to me. Is it that ideal job? The body you want? A more disciplined and less stressed way of being? Know the reason and it will steamroll those 90 seconds. You can even have a label on your alarm reminding you of your reason.

Make the choice the night before

Decide the night before what time you are waking up and allow no room for debate. In this way, you will not need willpower or motivation to push you. Benjamin Hardy wrote a brilliant book called ‘Willpower Doesn't Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success’. This is what he says on the power of choice:

‘To be frank, willpower is for people who haven’t decided what they actually want in their lives. If you’re required to exert willpower to do something, there is an obvious internal conflict. You want to eat the cookie, but you also want be healthy. You want to focus at work, but you also want to watch that YouTube video. You want to be present with your kids, but you can’t stop looking at your phone. You don’t know what you want, and are thus internally conflicted. Your desire (your why) for your goals isn’t strong enough. You aren’t invested in yourself and your dreams.’

Prepare

This tip is a game changer. Whatever the task or activity you choose to do for yourself in that time slot must be thought out in advance. For example, if you want to exercise, have your clothes and shoes laid out for you. If you want to study something, have the link ready on your computer or the book next to your bed. If you want to journal, have your book and pen waiting for you. At that time of the morning, you need to be one step ahead or else that time will disappear quickly.

Schedule it

You need to take this special time for yourself seriously with no guilt attached to it. Treat it with the same respect you would any other meeting. Schedule it into your calendar as a daily or weekly occurrence. Know in advance what are you going to do and for how long. For example, if you want to work on a new writing project, then schedule 6am to 7:30. The most important part of this is to create the ritual. It is less about what you achieve in that time slot but rather you showed up to yourself and you wrote. Don’t make success dependant on quantity of words but on the fact you made progress on your goal.

Do not pick up your phone

The worst thing you can do is to pick up your phone unless it’s to turn off your alarm. The quickest way to sabotage yourself is to look at your emails or check the socials. Why? You will immediately set yourself up to be in a state of reaction. You are allowing other people’s priorities to overshadow your time. Remember, you allocated this time for your own goals and dreams, not to make progress on other peoples. Finish the activity and then feel free to pick up the phone.

Get up

Do not hit snooze. Even if you think ‘it’s just 5 minutes’. Most likely, the warm bed will win over your own projects. Hitting snooze doesn’t give you 10 more minutes to dream, it destroys your dreams. Put your phone on the other side of the room if that will get you up. Just push yourself out of the bed and get up. Do not question, do not think – just move as quickly as you can.

Celebrate yourself

When you set your alarm for an earlier time and you do get up and achieve your goal. It could be doing 10 minutes of yoga or exercise or planning. It so crucial to acknowledge the victory no matter how small. Celebrate yourself! You proved to yourself that you are worthy of getting up for. You can achieve what you set out to do. When you show up to yourself, make progress on your goal – you win the day! Even if your day turns completely pear shaped, you know you can get through it. You showed yourself you can do it even though it’s difficult. Imagine the mental bandwidth that arms you with when life’s real challenges show up.

Before the start of 2020, I was in the gym at 6am. I never ever thought I would become a 5am person - as in arriving at 5am. Waking up at 4:30. I used to think it’s for crazy people, it’s a ridiculous time to get up but here I am. My kids started primary school which changed my entire routine. I had no other choice than the 5am slot and I’m alive, I’m ok…

I’m so proud of myself and it makes me think ‘well if I can do this then what other story can I shift?’ What dream have I been putting off because I thought I could never do that or be that person? Something seeming so insignificant like waking up early can have such huge impact in every aspect of your life.

It all starts with one micro decision. Show up to yourself and the possibilities are limitless.

Here’s to showing up to yourself.

Warm wishes

Lori

Lori Milner is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.