by Lori Milner

I received a call from a friend, Jill, one Thursday morning. She works at one of the largest global IT firms. Her role is to conduct research projects and publish white papers based on her findings. Her latest paper was on the topic of mergers and acquisitions in the retail industry; this attracted so much attention that she had to present to the Vice President of the company. As it is a global firm, the senior executives are based in the USA and her team are based in South Africa so it was going to be done as a conference call.

She called me in a flat panic about presenting her findings to the Vice President. Very quickly I pointed out what was happening to her – a textbook case of imposter syndrome. Although she had done the research and analysis, her concern was that she has never actually been through a real M & A process. She had this real fear she was going to be ‘exposed’ and they will figure out she doesn’t really know what she’s doing – even though it was not part of her job description. Her role is to research, not be on the ground managing these huge projects personally.

When you have a similar situation to present to someone more senior or who you highly respect, keep this in mind to manage your spiralling thoughts and break out of overwhelm:

1. You are being called upon for your skills and expertise

I reminded Jill – she is not expected to manage mergers and acquisitions in the company. The reason she has been invited to present is because she has the knowledge and expertise they are seeking. It is not an attempt to trip her up but a genuine acknowledgement and validation of her research.

2. It is not about being perfect but being a contribution and adding value

When you are required to present in a big or small group, nerves are going to creep up on you and that’s completely normal. It means you have something to lose and you have a true concern about the project. My late dad always used to say ‘it’s fine to have butterflies as long as they fly in formation’. But when the nerves border into fear of not being perfect, it’s a dangerous place to be. The point of the meeting was about Jill adding value and being a contribution to her team. The VP is looking for information she has and can provide real insights for him. When you shift your mind-set from having to be perfect and rather serve and add value, it enables you to make the distinction it is not about you. No one is expecting perfection but contribution.

3. Its ok not to know every answer

In the fear of ‘being exposed’, Jill was petrified she may not be able to answer everything. I told her that’s perfectly fine. If you face a question you simply don’t know the answer to – say ‘that’s a great question, let me do some additional research and I will come back you on this as a priority’. Always go for this route of honesty and maintain your integrity rather than fumble through some made up answer and risk your credibility.

4. Preparation = confidence

The more you can prepare ahead of time, the more confident you will feel going into the review, presentation or pitch. I suggested to Jill that she pull out her top highlights from the project and also anticipate possible questions from the Vice President. In this way, she can answer from a position of clarity, knowledge and confidence. Have some key findings ready that she can pull from in case the VP doesn’t mention them in the meeting. Practice your presentation out loud - in front of the mirror is best. If you have face to face interactions, it enables you to become aware of any nervous gestures such as swinging your arms that perhaps you were not conscious of.

5. Defeat overwhelm with micro wins

There were over 24 hours before Jill’s call and she had to prepare a slide deck. She was in such deep overwhelm that she couldn’t concentrate. Those anxious looping thoughts of panic was taking over her ability to focus. My advice was she just needs to take 10 deep breaths firstly as this neutralizes the adrenaline in the body. Secondly, chunk it down into tiny steps, think of Lego blocks. First, write out the table of contents – what are the 5 key messages she wants to share. Then from there, write down a quote or statistic to back this up. Then slowly build the slide deck. What was most important to her progress was celebrating each little Lego block along the way. This provides momentum and enables her to view her progress and provide the happy hormones of dopamine and serotonin to get her back on track.

When imposter syndrome strikes, take a breath and know it’s normal. Look at your past successes and remind yourself that you have this task or project because you deserve it. You have earned it and remember – fear is a compass. It means you are challenging yourself; push through with courage (despite the fear) to your greatness.

Here’s to showing up to your greatness.

Warm wishes

Lori

LORI MILNER is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.