by Kathy Mann, Author & Speaker
A few years ago, I experienced a burnout. I developed a stress-induced autoimmune disease and suffered from chronic fatigue for three years. It had a significant effect on my life. Lately, with South Africa being in lockdown due to the Coronavirus pandemic, I have noticed a few similarities and differences between that period of my life and now.
I could not work at all for a long time and I could not earn income. I was stuck at home, unable to go out and I felt isolated. I could no longer reach for the goals that made me feel so energized, like running ultra marathons or tackling large projects at work. I missed the company of colleagues, friends and running partners. I felt trapped and helpless as to how to get my life back together again.
I think many people are feeling similar things during this pandemic. Research shows that the most significant contributor to our happiness is social connection. It is really important for human beings to remain connected to each other and the benefits of physical touch are enormous in terms of our stress response. The love hormone, oxytocin, is released during hugs and close conversations with loved ones. Oxytocin counteracts the effects of stress by lowering heart rate, blood pressure, and cortisol. In addition, it also positively affects our immune system and inflammation. Other effects include improved libido, reduced addiction, improved self-worth, confidence, generosity and calm. Oxytocin reduces anxiety and boosts the release of serotonin which makes us happier. Bottom line, we really need touch and closeness to thrive.
The big difference between lockdown and my burnout was that I was the only one in my social and professional circle experiencing the isolation. No one else could relate to or understand what was happening to me. Some people thought I just gave up on life and became a housewife. Others seemed to distance themselves from my suffering in case it was catchy. It was hard to explain what chronic fatigue felt like and why I could not attend children’s parties and dinners with the school moms. Back then, burnout was not something a lot of people were talking about which made me feel even more alone. However, I had my immediate family to provide me with love and support. I had wonderful friends who did so many kind things for me for which I am forever grateful.
The pandemic is the only experience so far in my lifetime that impacts the entire world. We are all in this together and there is great comfort in that after suffering alone. Some of the actions that helped me deal with the isolation were to connect with loved ones, even via text message, voice note or video call. Being of service to others in small ways boosts our happiness and our sense of connection. I encourage you to contact others, particularly those who live alone. For those of us who are lucky enough to have pets and family at home, we can benefit from the stress-reducing effects of oxytocin through hugs with family, stroking the fur of our animals and having meaningful conversations with each other.
There were many times I felt great despair that I would never have a life beyond burnout, but I did. I built a better life that was simpler and contained all the important people and activities that really matter to me. There will be an end to this pandemic and you can survive it and find ways to thrive through it.
Kathy Mann is an author and speaker with a special interest in stress management. She is passionate about guiding people towards their best lives possible in harnessing their strengths and innate talents. She offers a stress re-framing service, which shifts beliefs to be more constructive around stress. She does this by educating her clients about the variety of stress responses that exist and how we can benefit from them. Kathy's books Avoiding Burnout and Harnessing Stress are available at major retailers and online at Amazon. She is a wife and mother of two beautiful daughters and lives in Johannesburg, South Africa.
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