by Dr Ashika Pillay
It’s not just the virus that’s contagious…
With the advent of COVID-19, most people have become familiar with concepts related to infectious disease, how viruses are spread and transmitted. However, beneath the real threat of the virus and its impact on our health and wellbeing, lurks another infectious disease. Anxiety and fear are real threats that pose a massive risk to us.
The mental and emotional health toll that anxiety, worry, fear and stress place on our bodies is significant. While the physical threat of COVID-19 is real, and should not be taken lightly, anxiety and fear may place an unnecessary additional load on our wellbeing. Psychologists describe emotional contagion as “the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronize expressions, vocalizations, postures, and movements with those of another person and, consequently, to converge emotionally.”
“Catching feelings”
We have something in our brains called mirror neurons which cause us to experience the emotional energy of others and to then we mirror what we observe and feel. This emotional connectedness can sometimes lead us in a place of emotional fatigue and drain. Have you perhaps had a conversation with someone and had a feeling of being ungrounded and not center anymore. You may have literally “caught something”.
So, what can we do to remain in touch and in control, with our own stories without being drawn into someone else’s. What we don't want to do is not see and feel others - and not be empathetic and compassion.
Here are a few tips - to be kind to others, to hear and see them, while also retaining your own place of “cause” and responsiveness. This is also what I call leadership - self leadership.
First - “name it to tame it”
A term coined by Dr Dan Siegal - which in this context we can adapt to “name it to release it”. If possible, during or after a conversation, check in with yourself. “How am I right now?” Perhaps notice what sensations are in your body - ease? or tightness, constriction? shallow breath, heart racing. Just a deep breath can get you to connect to these sensations and feelings.
Next - create some space for yourself by deciding if this is a useful feeling for you right now or not. Is this emotional state helpful for you and the situation? You can shift the emotional state by using a few deep breaths (breathing in for 3 counts, holding for 2, breathe out for 4 counts, and hold for 2 - repeat as many times). This technique shifts and regulates the nervous system - more about that on another blog :)
And then - stop the spread. Once you have released yourself from this silent spread, you have already made an impact. Counter the spread by choose to lead yourself and others with balance, hope, and optimism. Using a gratitude practice or a simple act of kindness can change our physiology from fear and despair to connection and engagement.
So, help with the spread of this contagion - not by social isolation - but by social and inner connection.
Dr Ashika Pillay is a medical doctor, executive coach and wellbeing and mindfulness teacher. She is a mum of three boys and wife to Thiru Pillay. She believes that the nexus of all her skills is here - to create a space for personal wellbeing, and leadership by living wholeheartedly into our lives, and finding the potential make a change in our lives and the world. She has completed an MBA, and is passionate about Functional Medicine which approaches medicine in a holistic, multi-dimensional manner. She is also a member of faculty at a coaching school, a board member at the Institute of Mindfulness of South Africa and works with corporate clients and students at present.
Her philosophy is in total wellbeing, preventative medicine and mindfulness as routes to us evolving into the best versions of ourselves - mentally, physically and spiritually.
Her passions are women’s health, neuroscience, stress management, yoga and meditation.
Contact details: pillay.ashika5@gmail.com
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