by Ashika Pillay
As women entrepreneurs and business owners, we are busy. Our minds are busy with tasks that range from ensuring home admin, that the grocery list is taken care of, the invoices that need to be sent, scheduling clients and meetings while also taking care of our minds and bodies. We are busy. With this level of complexity, it is easy to become caught up in endless cycles of doing - and the doing mind. A mind that is racing faster than our bodies or those around us can keep up with.
The net result of this can be a sense of stress, and what neuroscientists call “frazzle” - being neither here nor there. A mind that is not present and a body that is stressed. Flushing hormones of adrenalin and cortisol at levels which, over the long term, can lead to fueling the epidemic of chronic diseases like hypertension, heart disease and diabetes. The quality of our lives takes a nosedive when we are living in our heads. Our bodies may be present; however, our minds have abandoned the moment. We miss the concert that we are meant to be watching, or the soccer game, or the feeling of connection at dinner with our significant others. Body present. Mind absent. And life, slowly but surely, can pass us by.
In her book, Attention span, professor Gloria Mark gives us some scary statistics about how our attention spans have dwindled from 2.5 minutes in 2004, to 75 seconds in 2012, and now it is a mere 47 seconds. Even though these studies were tracking how often knowledge workers switched tasks, if you are a human, with a smart phone, I am sure that you can relate to how distracted we have become as a species. How non-present we have become to experiencing life in the moment.
However, this does not necessarily have to be all doom and gloom. We always have the power of choice. To choose firstly where we pay attention and how we can train the muscle of attention.
Here are a few practical tips
Practice pausing
Moving from the doing mind to the being mind requires a nervous system reset. So, deep intentional breathing, like box breathing (breathe in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, breathe out slowly for 5 seconds and hold for another 5. Repeat for 3 to 5 cycles). This moves our bodies from the accelerator (sympathetic) nervous system to the braking (parasympathetic) nervous system via activation of the vague nerve. Give it a try it now before you read on?
You can also use different cues in your day to do this intentionally. Perhaps every time you are at a red traffic light, or when you get in or out of your car, when you pick up your child or when you start a meeting. A short pause brings you and gets your mind to land where your body is.
Become aware of what distracts you
Our smart phones, also called weapons of mass distraction, are often the culprits these days. Become aware of how often you are pulled to read every notification. Put your phone off or activate airplane mode when you are at that concert. Turn off notifications. Set a timer when you are about to start an important task and place your device away from you will fuel your focus. Also, be intentional about measuring your screen time and what you use your phone for. Digital detoxing is another great habit to start to work on your presence.
Train your attention
For anyone that has read any of my blogs, you know that I am passionate about, and an evangelist of mindfulness practices. Start with 3 minutes, or 10? Get intentional about this to and get your family involved. This is good for everyone.
Personally, I have also started a practice of reading a (paper) book for 20 minutes every day with all devices away from me. It’s getting me to read so much more and build my muscle of focus at the same time. Join me in this challenge and daily habit?
So, how present (or absent) we are not without consequence. We can live deeper, richer, and more fulfilled lives, if we use our power of choice to be present and to experience live unfolding, one moment at a time. In the end, and to paraphrase Jon Kabat Zinn, American professor emeritus of medicine, and founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction, we should manage our attention and awareness like our lives depend on it. Because indeed it does.
Dr Ashika Pillay is a medical doctor, executive coach and wellbeing and mindfulness teacher. She is a mum of three boys and wife to Thiru Pillay. She believes that the nexus of all her skills is here - to create a space for personal wellbeing, and leadership by living wholeheartedly into our lives, and finding the potential make a change in our lives and the world. She has completed an MBA, and is passionate about Functional Medicine which approaches medicine in a holistic, multi-dimensional manner. She is also a member of faculty at a coaching school, a board member at the Institute of Mindfulness of South Africa and works with corporate clients and students at present.
Her philosophy is in total wellbeing, preventative medicine and mindfulness as routes to us evolving into the best versions of ourselves - mentally, physically and spiritually.
Her passions are women’s health, neuroscience, stress management, yoga and meditation.
Contact details: pillay.ashika5@gmail.com
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