by Ashika Pillay
Do you sometimes feel that, just like your computer, you have too many tabs open? A sense of frazzle - neither here nor there. Too much needing to be done - now! As the year comes to a close, a collective sigh can be felt echoing through our communities. It’s been a tough year or rather couple of years. Change has happened at a fast pace, and many of us have needed to adapt swiftly and move quickly on all fronts - home, work, communities.
Keeping ahead if not trying to keep up, means that we have been busier than ever and overwhelm is certainly a prevalent state many of my own clients are struggling with. How can we help ourselves and others around us? How can we close the tabs, improve our focus and upgrade our own operating systems? Collins defines overwhelm in three ways:
If you are overwhelmed by a feeling or event, it affects you very strongly, and you do not know how to deal with it.
If a group of people overwhelm a place or another group, they gain complete control or victory over them.
All three seem to have the common theme of resources being less than challenges. While stress is not always a bad thing, chronic stress can lead to overwhelm and burnout. Overwhelm can be caused by several small things just adding up, you miss your transport, there’s an issue with your credit card at the bank, the geyser bursts and your kid gets sick at school. It feels like all too much. It can also be caused by a single large event like a major accident, illness, or a family death. Remember, that different people respond differently depending on life circumstances, underlying mental health issues and your upbringing.
Overwhelm can show up in different ways. Emotionally a change in your overall mood, impatience in relationships and withdrawal or avoidance of certain people. Physically it can mimic the signs of stress like high heart rate, breathing issues, muscle spasm, changes in bowel habits etc. You could have challenges focusing, thinking clearly or have irrational thoughts. Change in sleep patterns and fatigue are other possible signs. Should you have any of the above, seek professional medical and mental help in the acute stages for the appropriate support and to rule out possible medical concerns.
Here are some of the steps that I use myself and for some of my clients.
1. Get Clear
What are my priorities and values. This is the founding pillar to start to declutter. Look at what really needs to be done and why it needs to be done. If there’s a reason like “nice to have” - get rid of it! This simple question should help you to remove many things off your list. Doing too much of what is not really needed to be done, and what’s not important to you. Having a “not to do list” is as important as the “to do” list. Getting clear creates traction on what is the most valuable use of your time. It’s about simplifying, simplifying, and simplifying some more.
2. Who needs to do what stays on the list?
So, now that you have prioritized the really important things, ask who needs to do the rest? Is it me? Is it me alone? These two questions hold a second key to getting things off your plate. Get the right help. Empower those around you and empower yourself so that you only do what the highest value tasks are for you, and your success.
3. The next question is “When does this need to be done?”
If it’s urgent, it needs a timeline that’s pretty soon. If it’s sometime in the future, schedule it in your diary so that you feel it’s been taken care of. Make sure that all the items that came out of step 1 above have been placed somewhere.
4. The last step is really not a step. It’s rather a constant practice.
It’s my mantra, and my philosophy. Be present. You can only do one thing at a time. Read that again…Set an intention for the task at hand and be present. So put your heart into the process of what you are doing. Bring a whole-hearted presence, a sacred inner stillness and full engagement with the task at hand. Because you would have done the above steps, you can rest in this presence. When you find yourself getting distracted, simply return to the task that you are busy with. This in itself is a meditation.
I hope that you take some of these steps to heart, as you find a way from overwhelm to “well-m” by closing the many tabs in your brain. Overwhelm is fueled by confusion, while clarity feeds focus can be the catalyst for greater wellbeing and success. Presence changes our biochemistry from this “frazzle” which filled with the hormones of stress to calm, poised and intentional, a different physiological state altogether.
Wishing you well!
Dr Ashika Pillay is a medical doctor, executive coach and wellbeing and mindfulness teacher. She is a mum of three boys and wife to Thiru Pillay. She believes that the nexus of all her skills is here - to create a space for personal wellbeing, and leadership by living wholeheartedly into our lives, and finding the potential make a change in our lives and the world. She has completed an MBA, and is passionate about Functional Medicine which approaches medicine in a holistic, multi-dimensional manner. She is also a member of faculty at a coaching school, a board member at the Institute of Mindfulness of South Africa and works with corporate clients and students at present.
Her philosophy is in total wellbeing, preventative medicine and mindfulness as routes to us evolving into the best versions of ourselves - mentally, physically and spiritually.
Her passions are women’s health, neuroscience, stress management, yoga and meditation.
Contact details: pillay.ashika5@gmail.com
More articles by Ashika
