by Ashika Pillay
In a time when mental health is a buzzword, and when many are talking about how we sustain our mental resilience and health, many are also talking about mindfulness and meditation as ways of helping us through this really challenging times in our lives and that of so many on this planet. At the same time, there could be some misunderstandings around the topic. So here is a short write up and some “myth busting” of the most common things I’ve heard people say.
Myth: I can’t meditate because my mind is too busy.
This is a big one - “my mind can’t be still”. Meditation isn’t about keeping the mind still or stopping thought. It’s actually, in a way, almost the opposite - to notice when your mind is not still and, when it’s wandered away, to bring it back (often times we use our breath) to the “object” of our meditation. In fact, it’s actually a moment of mindfulness when we notice that the mind has wondered off.
Related to this of course, is that we are not unique in having these busy, chattering minds. It is really the nature of the mind to wander. This is what the mind does.
Which brings me to another point - meditation is also not “focus” “concentration” or striving. It’s about becoming the observer, the witness - and the awareness, and we can really practice this when the mind has wandered. Through this we can cultivate a “softer” way of noticing and some curiosity about the content of where it’s gone off to. We can say, “Ahh, my mind has gone off again. Interesting”. Perhaps you heard a noise which distracted you, and before you know if you are in a story about your mother-in-law. Just kidding :) An important awareness that may arise, is that you can become aware of the content of your thought. where your mind goes when it wanders off.
Myth: I will never get it right
Even to seasoned meditators who practice for years, the practice - is….to practice. To practice for the sake of an outcome can be elusive. There’s no place to get to and no achievement to be attained. My revered teacher (not directly) Jon Kabat Zinn often says, “You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it”. Part of what he means here is that we practice for the sake of the practice, and that we come back, over and over and over again - to the breath, and to the practice. There is no “getting it right”. Sit, practice, notice. Come back - sit, practice, notice.
When we practice, we may also become aware of our mental habits in our daily activities. We may become aware of when we get distracted, when we get triggered and when we are not present to the ones that we care most dearly about.
Myth: It requires sitting cross legged on the floor in the half-lotus position
Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere, at any time, in any position. You can even practice it while walking, eating - in fact, if you have read this with all the energy of your attention, you’ve been mindful.
I view my personal practice as a way of meeting myself, over and over and over again. I have learnt to be curious about the content of my busy wandering mind and learnt a few things about myself in this way. I guess, most important, I have learnt to be kinder and more compassionate to this beautiful and incredibly complex mind common to us all, and the navigator of our worlds.
Dr Ashika Pillay is a medical doctor, executive coach and wellbeing and mindfulness teacher. She is a mum of three boys and wife to Thiru Pillay. She believes that the nexus of all her skills is here - to create a space for personal wellbeing, and leadership by living wholeheartedly into our lives, and finding the potential make a change in our lives and the world. She has completed an MBA, and is passionate about Functional Medicine which approaches medicine in a holistic, multi-dimensional manner. She is also a member of faculty at a coaching school, a board member at the Institute of Mindfulness of South Africa and works with corporate clients and students at present.
Her philosophy is in total wellbeing, preventative medicine and mindfulness as routes to us evolving into the best versions of ourselves - mentally, physically and spiritually.
Her passions are women’s health, neuroscience, stress management, yoga and meditation.
Contact details: pillay.ashika5@gmail.com
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