by Ashika Pillay
Our worlds are in a state of flux and change and we simply cannot control what’s going to happen around us. This is the nature of the uncertainty in the world and in our worlds. We can make plans for the future to some extent, and even that is somewhat filled with a sense of what might “not happen”. Are we going on holiday? What will happen next year? Will we have a second wave?
How can we be with this uncertainty and still have control at least something in our lives. The only thing that is truly available for us, and is in fact the most powerful, is how we respond to our lives. It’s always been the only real thing that we can do something about.
The words of the Austrian psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, who, imprisoned in Auschwitz, lost everything including his family during the Holocaust, wrote one of the most profound books of this century, Man’s Search for Meaning, can provide some wisdom:
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
While we may not be in that situation, it is the choice of how to respond in any given situation that provides us with a key to mastery. As we review what our choices in any situation, there is freedom, potential and power in that? The normal response is often
“Why?”
“Why this”
“Why now?”
“Why me?”
The opportunity that is presented is to pause and look at the situation, and “as is” it as Eckhardt Tolle says. We may be able to find something that we have not seen before. What is the opportunity in the chaos? What is the lesson that I can learn? “How can I adapt and be flexible in this situation.
From a neuro-scientific perspective when we pause, breathe, and consider, we actually change our nervous systems and can switch from the reactive, stress based mind to the thinking and planning mind.
So, bring mastery back online:
Take a breath. See the situation for what is really happening (rather than the conditioned stories running repetitively in your mind). Ask, what don’t I know about this situation? What do I know for sure? How can I find out more? Speak to a friend, mentor, or coach to gain perspective. And then take action.
The move from reaction to action is always available. A move to choose, control and mastery. Choose wisely!
Dr Ashika Pillay is a medical doctor, executive coach and wellbeing and mindfulness teacher. She is a mum of three boys and wife to Thiru Pillay. She believes that the nexus of all her skills is here - to create a space for personal wellbeing, and leadership by living wholeheartedly into our lives, and finding the potential make a change in our lives and the world. She has completed an MBA, and is passionate about Functional Medicine which approaches medicine in a holistic, multi-dimensional manner. She is also a member of faculty at a coaching school, a board member at the Institute of Mindfulness of South Africa and works with corporate clients and students at present.
Her philosophy is in total wellbeing, preventative medicine and mindfulness as routes to us evolving into the best versions of ourselves - mentally, physically and spiritually.
Her passions are women’s health, neuroscience, stress management, yoga and meditation.
Contact details: pillay.ashika5@gmail.com
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