by Nontobeko Mbuyane
It’s such a pity that we are so obsessed with living up to expectations that we can deny ourselves the permission to take chances. So many people are afraid of risk and often are paralyzed by the fear of failure. Sadly, this robs us of our creativity and moments of spontaneity that are often the source of our greatest triumphs. And although some may view failure as the end of the road, it’s far from being an absolute.
At some point in life, you are meant to fail. The key difference between those who allow their experiences to define them, and those who view it as a challenge, is attitude. You have a choice. What direction is your path going to take you? The only way is forward. “You fail your way to success”, the author, Denis Waitley once said. “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” Our biggest problem is that nowadays we attach success to financial gain, status, and any other material trappings, yet sometimes it is more intangible, more valuable from a spiritual perspective.
Saving Grace
There are chapters of your life that might have appeared, or still appear, as failure in your eyes, yet spiritually they are your steppingstones. Your failure is merely a redirection. You no longer need to fear failure because that is a path that you need to go through. Sometimes, you need to let go in order to move on. Did you know that sometimes your failure in something might be your saving grace? In failure you are actually discovering what could have not been otherwise discovered. There are great lessons in trying and trying again, just look at how you get better after the many attempts, that surely is a great lesson. At times we really should honor the merits of so called, “failure”. Is the most effective way to learn really to get things right first time? Obviously, within some settings, you want to make progress as quickly as possible. But what about when you’re trying to gain mastery over a more complex skill? And most definitely my choice would be gaining mastery, and with that comes lots of episodes of failure before mastery.
Growth
Failure, for all its negative connotations, has a definite and measureless value. It’s a catalyst for growth. The more mistakes you make, the more complete your understanding becomes of a given craft. But not only that, it encourages you to self-reflect and self-analyze. It creates a sense of accountability, forcing you to ask deep and challenging questions of yourself. When you’re stuck at an obstacle, it can be deflating. But the ability to problem-solve and think your way out of dead-ends is a true life skill you can’t put a price on. Think about how many times you have experienced the same frustrating setback time and again. But then one day, you crack the code. How did it feel when you eventually made that breakthrough? It was undoubtedly a feeling like no other, right? And that’s because you know what you’ve achieved has been earned. It has an integrative effect, and it holds far more in the way of value than simply being given the right way to do something. From adversity comes the ability to learn and create experiences that can then be called on as wisdom in later life.
The path of the most successful people in recent history speaks loud and clear about what failure truly means. Try to think of the author Stephen King, he had his manuscript for Carrie rejected by thirty different publishers before it was accepted. Walt Disney was fired by the Kansas Post for a “lack of imagination,.” Thomas Edison famously took 10,000 attempts to create the first light-bulb. All of their successes were rooted in what must have appeared to be unending failure to the casual onlooker. But in their minds, they were always “failing forward.” They’d simply explored an avenue that didn’t yield a positive outcome. They reset and got back to work.
Your failures represent the greatest opportunity for learning and growth that you have at your disposal. Don’t take them to heart. Take them to the bank. Remember them. Analyze them. Stick them into your mind and vow never to make the same mistake again. It can only be a foolish person who laughs at those who’re willing to apply themselves to a task in which they’re clearly out of their depth. We should celebrate this kind of effort, not mock people for trying. We all have to start somewhere. Progress was never made without facing at least some form of hardship or setback. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall down; it’s about how you pick yourself back up. It’s about how you respond. Failure is an option. There is no shame in it. For me, it represents a learning curve rather than an absolute. Failure is a label that we give ourselves based on our expectations. Again, these too, can also be changed. Your success is relative to where you’re standing right now. You have a choice as to whether you drag the past around like a ball and chain, or whether you take ownership and start working with yourself instead of reinforcing your limitations.
Your failure has been a lesson to get it right the next time you try, just try again! To everyone out there trying, just continue trying and failing as you hustle through towards your success!
Nontobeko Bee Mbuyane is the CEO & founder of Bee’s Beauty Haven & Bee’s GlutaSpa Group of Beauty Centre’s based in Mbabane, Eswatini. These beauty boutiques passionately delivers quality client tailored skin care solutions and specializes on Glutathione brands to provide skin care solutions for all skin types clientele. Nontobeko holds a Bachelor of Social Sciences degree from the University of Eswatini, Certificate in Esthetics from South Korea and a Certificate in IV Therapy. She is a qualified Communications Specialist & has worked for International Non-Profit Organizations and gained invaluable stakeholder & public relations experience. Her growing up with an informal trader grandmother gave her business experience from the age of 10 where she took up being a vendor beside her grandmother. Her passion has seen her running several informal businesses until the birth of The Bee’s Group of Beauty Hubs brand. She is passionate about Women and Child Protection Issues and writes as a Columnist for Eswatini Newspaper, Eswatini News and owns her own BlogSpot where she tackles key self-help issues and shares most of her life experiences as a woman, mother and business woman. www.nontobee.wordpress.com
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