by Nontobeko Mbuyane
As the very observant soul that I am, I have been observing so many things lately, especially the behavioral patterns of most people. I learnt so many lessons from just that this week. Do you know that what you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it? Are you afraid of saying no in your professional life because you think you will miss out on a big opportunity? I have learned that a quick yes can sink a lot of ships. God only knows I have taken on too much at times because I feared I would miss out on something life changing. It is for that reason now that before I say yes to anything I have to consult, and my consultations are with God through prayer and fasting. I never say yes to anything that is life changing until God tells me so, be it business prospects, relationships, job opportunities and so many others.
Golden Nuggets
We often view opportunities as golden nuggets that are few and far between, so we snatch them up before someone else does, even if they don’t really excite us. But the truth is many of them are nothing more than fool’s gold, they are just a superficial resemblance to what we actually want. I know it’s just so hard to pass on something that sounds promising like a new role at work, a chance to join an exciting new project, or an invitation to pitch your business idea. And we would be stupid to say anything but yes because we always think, it’s now or never, right?
Grace Bonney, an author of a book that I am currently reading which is titled, In the Company of Women, had this to share on the subject of saying No:
“The biggest fear most of us have with learning to say no is that we will miss an opportunity. An opportunity that would have catapulted us to success or that will never come again. And most of the time, that simply isn’t true. I’ve found that the first part of learning to say no is learning to accept that offers and opportunities are merely an indication that you’re on the right path, not that you’ve arrived at a final destination you can never find again. If someone is choosing you, it means you’re doing something right. And that is the biggest opportunity you can receive, the chance to recognize that your hard work is paying off. And if you continue to do good work, those opportunities will continue and improve over time.”
I know what she’s talking about because I once put myself in this situation where I accepted what back then seemed like a great opportunity but later it brought nothing but made my life miserable and left me burned out. The lesson taken from it was to learn to say No! Hence, I implore you to be very critical of any opportunity that comes your way. Ask yourself these three questions to help you filter possible opportunities in order to gain clarity. What does this opportunity mean to me? Why is this opportunity important to me? What does this opportunity give me? Answering these questions will help you put so much thought into your life in general and might help you get to the point of figuring out what “success” actually means to you. And more importantly get you to understand that success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. Honestly answering these questions gives you a measuring stick you can reference before you take on any new opportunities.
Intentional
As for me, I am very intentional now. I’m not willing to accept an opportunity unless it truly excites me, and I take something else off my plate. I’m unwilling to sacrifice my values. I trust that bigger and better opportunities will continue to come my way. Bonney shifted my thinking of how I view opportunities. Rather than see an offer as a one-off that I need to jump on, it’s a sign that I’m on the right path. If someone wants to partner with me, it means I’m doing something right. As long as I continue to do what got me noticed in the first place, the opportunities will continue and improve in the future. Life is too short to be overcommitted, overloaded, and overwhelmed by a schedule of projects and people that bring you no joy. In the words of philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
Don’t see saying no as letting people down. You’re actually letting people down when you say yes, but don’t have the capacity or the enthusiasm to knock it out of the park. If you won’t say no for yourself, say it for the rest of us, because the world is a better place when you’re working on things you love!
Nontobeko Bee Mbuyane is the CEO & founder of Bee’s Beauty Haven & Bee’s GlutaSpa Group of Beauty Centre’s based in Mbabane, Eswatini. These beauty boutiques passionately delivers quality client tailored skin care solutions and specializes on Glutathione brands to provide skin care solutions for all skin types clientele. Nontobeko holds a Bachelor of Social Sciences degree from the University of Eswatini, Certificate in Esthetics from South Korea and a Certificate in IV Therapy. She is a qualified Communications Specialist & has worked for International Non-Profit Organizations and gained invaluable stakeholder & public relations experience. Her growing up with an informal trader grandmother gave her business experience from the age of 10 where she took up being a vendor beside her grandmother. Her passion has seen her running several informal businesses until the birth of The Bee’s Group of Beauty Hubs brand. She is passionate about Women and Child Protection Issues and writes as a Columnist for Eswatini Newspaper, Eswatini News and owns her own BlogSpot where she tackles key self-help issues and shares most of her life experiences as a woman, mother and business woman. www.nontobee.wordpress.com
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