by Nontobeko Mbuyane
I am currently reading a book by Glennon Doyle titled, 'Untamed.' It’s the first time I am reading anything by this author and frankly I didn’t go through any reviews prior to this read. The title of the book just captivated me and surely as an untamed one myself, I thought let me see what it’s all about. And oh gosh, I felt as if it had changed my life, not because it made me think of all the things I was capable of, but because it made me realize how capable I had already been.
The book on the whole is beautiful and inspiring, but the part that stuck with me the most was the story about Tabitha, born as a magnificent, wild beast, Tabitha had lost her wild by being caged. She had forgotten her own power, her own strength, her own identity, and had become tamed by watching her best friend. But remnants of Tabitha’s inner wild came back to life when she walked away from the pink bunny toward the perimeter of the fence that was keeping her caged in. The closer she was to the perimeter, the more fierce and regal Tabitha became. As I read through, I wondered, had I also forgotten my own inner wild? Was I spending my time trapped inside a cage when I could be pacing the perimeter instead? For days now I am beating myself up over this and I am trying to think of how I could break free of my metaphorical cage so I could find my way to the seemingly elusive perimeter that others seemed to have easily found and were already pacing. I questioned why I hadn’t worked harder, pushed further, and done more to create the life I truly wanted, especially when it became painfully clear that the one I was living didn’t fit that description. And that’s when it suddenly hit me. Like a ton of bricks falling on me out of nowhere, Nonto you don’t need to make your way to the perimeter, you are already there. Truth be told, I had been there for most of my life, and it was so familiar to me that I didn’t even notice it anymore. As I sat there in the midst of this comprehension, I looked back on my life and suddenly the steps to the perimeter all seemed to fall in place.
The Rebel
I retraced back to my entire life, the time when I packed my bags, left the comfort of my job to pursue my passion in foreign lands and was instantly labeled as a “risk taker” but kept going anyway, refusing to let them define who I was, I took another step towards that perimeter. When I said no to becoming what others, or rather what society might wanted me to be, surely that was another step toward the perimeter. For all I have been I now realize I was never meant to stay at the perimeter, I was always meant to go beyond it. So, I then understood how I long ago I uncaged more than just myself but my soul too.
The process of uncaging oneself is never easy. And at times, it is beyond lonely. But it is also very rewarding, deeply healing, and transformative at the same time. And perhaps most importantly of all, it has allowed us to understand that in one way or another, we are all here to break free of the cages that have encased most of us for the majority of our life.
Cages
Some cages are imposed upon us by the thoughts and ideas of those around us, and other times we put ourselves into them, willingly. So, we can avoid discomfort, pain, suffering, change, growth, and our own rebirth. Sometimes they can even be helpful, but other times they do nothing but hold us back. The steel cages often tell us who to be, where to live, what we “should” do for a living, how to behave, and even who to like or dislike. Often, the cages come in different colors, shapes, and sizes. Some are made of gold and filled with expensive toys and bribes to keep us from going outside of them. Their allure is simply too hard to resist for some people, even though they are often accompanied by gold shackles. Others are sparkly and filled with all that glitters. The shine is so intense that their occupants don’t even know they’re in a cage. They’re so fixated with the glitter that they spend their entire lives confined inside and never even realize they’re no freer than the people they’ve been looking down on as being “trapped.”
And of course, there are some who live in small, dark, and dingy cages that they desperately want to escape but dare not try to because they’re so convinced that it’s safer, easier, and more comfortable to just stay. Those are the people that are so afraid of their own power and the taste of true freedom that they probably wouldn’t leave even if the cage door was opened for them.
And then there is my tribe, the brave ones. Those that are truly courageous and have no desire to be confined by any cage or any limits. Those are the people who will do whatever it takes to break the cage so they can set themselves and all of humanity free. Those are the people who are roaming beyond the perimeter and have uncaged far more than their physical body, they have uncaged their very soul, and along with it, the many lifetimes of memories, wisdom, and truth it holds inside. Those are the people I want to run with. Those are the people I want to call my tribe. Those are the people that, when I meet them, I’ll know I have found my home. And honestly, “Cages aren’t made of iron, they’re made of our thoughts.”
Nontobeko Bee Mbuyane is the CEO & founder of Bee’s Beauty Haven & Bee’s GlutaSpa Group of Beauty Centre’s based in Mbabane, Eswatini. These beauty boutiques passionately delivers quality client tailored skin care solutions and specializes on Glutathione brands to provide skin care solutions for all skin types clientele. Nontobeko holds a Bachelor of Social Sciences degree from the University of Eswatini, Certificate in Esthetics from South Korea and a Certificate in IV Therapy. She is a qualified Communications Specialist & has worked for International Non-Profit Organizations and gained invaluable stakeholder & public relations experience. Her growing up with an informal trader grandmother gave her business experience from the age of 10 where she took up being a vendor beside her grandmother. Her passion has seen her running several informal businesses until the birth of The Bee’s Group of Beauty Hubs brand. She is passionate about Women and Child Protection Issues and writes as a Columnist for Eswatini Newspaper, Eswatini News and owns her own BlogSpot where she tackles key self-help issues and shares most of her life experiences as a woman, mother and business woman. www.nontobee.wordpress.com
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