by Thembe Khumalo

Here's something I've noticed over the years coaching men and women in various professions: Women consistently identify themselves as having low confidence and seek support in building it up. I've never had a man raise a lack of confidence as a primary concern.

Why the Difference?

I love tackling societal problems at their root – our homes. From a young age, girls are often socialized to be more cautious, obedient, and accommodating, while boys are encouraged to be assertive, competitive, and take risks. When my children were young, I was fixated on ensuring they grew up confident. Having been a painfully shy child myself, I was determined to spare them that. My research led me to studies showing children who climb freely become more confident adults. But it's not the climbing that builds confidence, it's the falling! Boys' games often involve risk and potential injury. Over time, they learn to recover quickly and develop skills like self-reliance. On the other hand, girls are usually exposed to "safer" forms of play, limiting their opportunities to practice and develop these same skills. So, they may enter adulthood with a lower baseline of confidence.

Representation Matters

Another factor contributing to women's lower confidence is a lack of representation. Many industries and leadership positions are dominated by men, leaving women with few visible role models and mentors who share similar experiences. This can contribute to feelings of isolation and imposter syndrome among women professionals. That's why it's vital for women in leadership to make their voices heard, increase their visibility, and showcase a range of options for young girls to pursue. It's not about self-promotion – it's about sparking the imagination of future generations.

The Workplace

Once in the workplace, women continue to face limitations. Studies show they often receive less frequent and constructive feedback than men, hindering their ability to identify areas for improvement and recognize their accomplishments. This lack of validation can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Double standards and organizational cultures that prioritize assertiveness, competition, and self-promotion can disadvantage women who prefer collaborative or consensus-driven approaches. Harsher judgement and the perception (real or not) that they need to perform at a higher standard puts enormous pressure on women to prove themselves – more so than their male counterparts. Ironically, this pressure can erode confidence over time. So, what can we do to address this confidence gap that affects women at all levels and across industries?

Taking Charge of Your Confidence

Every professional woman must take responsibility for building her confidence. Acknowledging that confidence is a critical success factor for your career and life in general means taking deliberate action to protect and improve your self-esteem.

One tool I use in my coaching practice is a simple folder on your desktop. We call it an appreciation archive, or a "brag bag." Every time someone sends you positive feedback, take a screenshot and save it in this folder. Whether it's a book review, an email from your boss, or an acknowledgement from a client, keep it somewhere you can easily reference it when you're feeling wobbly. These affirmations serve as a reminder that you are capable of doing exceptional work.

The Power of Community

Surrounding yourself with other successful women is another confidence booster. This is incredibly powerful, especially if these women are on a similar path and can share their experiences in a safe space. Joining a community allows you to exchange ideas, learn from others, and offer advice, fostering invaluable connections that can lead to lifelong friendships and even business success. The confidence gap holds women back from reaching their full potential, and by extension, diminishes the world's potential. When women are unable to fully step into their power, we all miss out on the wealth of talent, innovation, and leadership they have to offer. By addressing these issues at home, in the workplace, and throughout society, we can empower women to thrive and create a richer, more successful world for everyone.

Double Standards: Women often face higher standards and harsher judgment than men in professional settings. They may feel pressure to prove themselves more than their male counterparts, which can erode confidence over time.

Workplace Culture: Organizational cultures that prioritize assertiveness, competition, and self-promotion may disadvantage women who prefer collaborative or consensus-driven approaches. Discrimination, bias, and microaggressions in the workplace can also undermine confidence.

Work-Life Balance: Women are more likely to bear the responsibility of caregiving and household duties, which can create additional stress and limit their time and energy for career development. Balancing professional and personal responsibilities can impact confidence and career progression.

Thembe Khumalo is one of Zimbabwe’s leading voices when it comes to brand-building, business growth and personal development. A winner of multiple awards both at home and in the region, she is the founder and Managing Director of Brandbuilder, a high-performance brand strategy firm that helps entrepreneurial leaders and SMEs achieve visibility and growth through comprehensive brand strategy, creative execution and social media content strategies. Known for her clarity and courage, Thembe Khumalo’s leadership track record includes board positions in listed, unlisted and not-for-profit entities. With more than 20 years in the media and communication industry, she delivers a network of high-level relationships across many industries in several African countries. | thembekhumalo.com | www.brandtobuild.co | askus@brandtobuild.co