by Abigail Klopper, founder of Abigail K Photography
Last week I had a personal epiphany. I hadn’t intended to have an epiphany – who does? It happened as a result of writing an email to a group of close friends and dear colleagues and clients. I was writing from the heart. I was sharing my truth in that moment when the epiphany hit me. It hit me like an emotional brick. It seems so obvious to me now in retrospect, but in the moment, while I was organizing my thoughts to send the email, it struck me as profound. Side Note: This is such a testament to the value of journalling! My epiphany was… that I don’t ask for help!
Here’s the email I sent.
As you know I’m all about elevating women’s confidence, and part of that process means stepping out of comfort zones. Welp! This me doing just that. As I write this, I’m having a realization – I’ve realized that I’m uncomfortable asking for help. Being fiercely independent, self-sufficient and being the girl that others come to for help has always been my reality. At school I was the one who’s friends would come to stay to avoid the dramas happening at home. To some degree, that’s still the case. As a result, when I have challenges in my business I tend to deal with them alone. I’m now realizing how this has been limiting my growth, the growth of my business, and the impact I know my work can have on others. I’ve been standing in my own way for so many years. Too many years! I see now that my ego gets a kick out of receiving comments and feedback from people saying “Every time I turn on social media, there you are.” or “You pop up everywhere.” or “You look so busy.” The truth is, I’m tired. I’m tired of the pace I’ve set for myself, especially when it feels like I’m not getting anywhere. Sometimes even going backwards. 2018 is my year of doing things differently, and apparently this is yet another way in which it’s showing up for me. When I woke up this morning I didn’t know I would be sending this email, not in this way, at least. What you’re not seeing is the 5 minutes of hesitation between each line.
What I’m trying to get to, in a very long-winded way, is to ask for your help. I’m running a 1 day workshop on the 20th of March in Constantia at a beautiful Yoga Sanctuary. On my current vision board, I have an image of 15 women standing in a circle outside under a big willow tree. This venue that I’ve found pretty much fits that vision. What I still need to manifest is the 15 women who have spent the day with me rebalancing their confidence to reconnect with their business. Here’s my ask: Do you know 1 woman who’s become disconnected from her confidence in some way and who’s seeing the ripple effect of that disconnect ebbing out into her business? Do you think she’s the kind of woman who would be open to exploring the source of that disconnect and would want to receive some tools and practices to reconnect to her confidence so that she can show up for her business again? And to do so in the company of other soulful women who will hold the space for her. The biggest gift you can give us both, is sharing the details of my workshop with her. Here they are: http://abigailk.co.za/cc-workshop/. I’ve also attached some flyers. I do believe that the ripple of this action right here will have affects far beyond what you and I can fathom. So I’m taking the plunge. I’m hitting send. I’m asking for help. Here I go…
PS. Thank You. Sincerely.
I’m not gonna lie – that was a tough email to send. Even as I re-read it now, I’m asking “Did I really send that?” As women though, I believe that we need to reach out and ask for help when we need it. I believe that people don’t know when you’re feeling like you’re drowning under the weight of your responsibilities, and if they did know, they’d want to help. I had a friend recently mention that she was having trouble with her boyfriend – real trouble, physical trouble. But she didn’t want to tell her family what she was struggling with because she didn’t want to burden them. I told her that her family loves her, they would absolutely want to help and that they would hate to find out that she had been struggling alone without coming to them for help. Imagine if something had happened to her – how that would affect her family.
I think as women, we assume that others will know if there’s something wrong – but people don’t have the power to read your mind. They will help, but you have to ask for the help first. It takes guts, it takes courage to ask for help – but the ripple effect of suport that opens up when you do will raise your self-confidence so much, you’ll wonder why you didn’t ask sooner. And if you don’t get the help you need from the people immediately around you – cast your nets wider. Your confidence crusaders are waiting to support you.
So what’s one thing you currently need help with but haven’t yet asked for?
Abigail K is a specialist women’s portrait photographer, speaker, course creator and all round Confidence Crusader. She believes that every woman has an obligation to themselves & to the women in their lives to show up as their most confident self. This world needs more feminine input, influence & impact, & confidence is the key to helping women show up in a more significant way. Abigail hopes if nothing else, that a single confident women standing tall offers proof & permission for a wave of women to begin their own confidence crusade.
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