by Paula Quinsee, Relationship Expert
Spring season has always been associated with decluttering, clearing out, spring cleaning and making space for the new. This gives us wonderful opportunities to take stock of what we have, what's working, what's not working, what is valuable and what has passed it's 'sell by' date. It's not that different when it comes to our relationships.
Some relationships are for a season, a reason or a lifetime, and this can be applied to both personal and professional relationships. When last did you sit down and take stock of the relationships in your life, the role that they play and the quality of the relationship? Do these relationships add value (i.e. are they are uplifting, supportive, encouraging and motivating) or are they detracting value (i.e. full of drama, negativity, toxic and energy draining)?”
Did you know that we become the collective sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with? The more time we spend with each other the more we start influencing each other’s thinking, traits and behaviours. This is called our circle(s) of influence. Think about who you surround yourself with in your personal and professional space. How are you being influenced by these people and vice versa, how are you influencing them? Positive? Negative? Adding value? Are they quality relationships, do they portray positive behaviors, are they the kind of people you want to be associated with and what does this say about your reputation and credibility?”
There comes a time when you may need to apply a spring clean in this area of your life. Some relationships may have run their course - perhaps they were only meant for a season or a reason. And that's ok! Other relationships may need some 'stock-taking' and topping up to enhance their value - and this is where you have a choice. Are you prepared and ready to do the necessary in order to reap the benefits and rewards of the relationship? Perhaps you need to make more time for your partner or your children, perhaps even an elderly parent. In the workplace perhaps you need to apply yourself more to building better relationships with your team members by taking the time to get to know them better in order for them to operate at their optimum.
Sometimes we may need to seek new relationships to help us grow and develop - mentors, role-models, professionals. They help us to see our blind spots, those behaviours and development areas that we are not consciously aware of and shift us into being better.
Some of the tools we can use to enhance our relationships are making time for them, improving the quality of our communication, being honest with ourselves or having Courageous Conversations in order to resolve issues or where there is conflict.
Just as Spring forms part of the annual seasonal changes and brings with it new life and new beginnings, so too should we be looking at our own life, the season we are in, and what we need to do in order to shift into our next season.
Paula Quinsee is a Relationship Expert, Tedx speaker and author of Embracing Conflict. Paula teaches individuals and companies tools and skills to immediately and positively enhance the quality of their personal and organisational relationships. She is a consultant to SA TV show “Married at First Sight”, conducts regular monthly workshops, writes articles for a number of platforms and hosts podcasts for Niche Radio and UK Health Radio. More info: paulaquinsee.com
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