by Laura Camacho, PhD
If you notice more during your conversation you will listen more perceptively. When you listen better, you learn more. Learn more, succeed faster. Stop planning what you're going to say next, and focus on what the other person is actually saying right now.
Do you know that even top actors work to listen fully to what others on stage are saying....even though they know EXACTLY what they will say because it's ALL scripted! That is what makes great actors great. Just read any actor's bio.
And in real life, people often surprise you by saying something different from what you expected.
5 Things You Can Notice
If you're not sure what to do with this tip, here are 5 things you can start to notice about other people to learn from them:
Notice what their favorite words are....you can tell because they repeat them frequently.
Notice the color of their eyes. Are they wearing contacts? Eye contact shows confidence.
Notice body language. What does the body communicate?
Notice what emotion(s) are coming through.
Notice what is NOT being said.
Noticing more; listening intently helps you stand out...because so few people do it!! It's definitely impressive when you can refer to a person's alma mater, favorite sport or something about their kids or dog.
Here's the next step
Be the last one to give an opinion.
In any meeting where you want everyone's buy in, be the last one to speak on the matter. Specifically ask everyone to give their point of view, and then YOU be the last one to speak. That is probably the most powerful way to win people over: ask for their input first.
Research on persuasive leaders shows they are perceived as excellent listeners. In any power structure, people will act one way in front of the boss, but if you ask them in a safe place who truly influences them, it's the one who listens. Those are people considered to be truly persuasive.
Action Item
Be that person. The one who listens first, speaks last. And who notices everything. Listen. Learn. Succeed.
Laura Camacho, MBA, PhD, PMP, is an executive coach, trainer and speaker who opened Mixonian Institute in 2009 to rid the world of boring business communication. She has created innovative training programs for local and international companies, related to leadership effectiveness, excellent feedback, growth mindset and emotional intelligence. Multilingual, Dr. Camacho’s career highlights include facilitating The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (in Spanish,) being editor of the leading management newsletter in Venezuela. For 10 years she taught communication classes at ECU and College of Charleston. www.mixonian.com
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