You can’t pour from an empty cup

by Lionesses of Africa Operations Department

Written on a Thursday when the weight of the week of putting out fires and being dragged into the weeds of a mass of issues, has built up on our shoulders (and neck, oh those tight neck muscles!), is not lessened by the realisation that the weekend that seems so close will just bring 48 hours of catch-up rather than deep and fulfilling sleep.

It was in that all too familiar position (mentally curled up in a ball wanting to hum to ourselves), that we found the answer in an instagram post by Marcus Buckingham (described by Business Week as arguably the world’s most in-demand business guru). We should (in the spirit of openness) say that we are related to Marcus and have still not forgiven him for being the cool one at all the parties when we were teenagers, but listen to what he has to say about your ‘Why’ and ‘What’ and you’ll realize why we are so close to almost forgiving him now after 45 years, (but hey - who’s counting!).

He says (here if you want to watch the whole thing and we certainly recommend this), that the strange thing about your ‘Why’ and Your ‘Purpose’ is that while we are told that by finding and following this, we will live a full and thriving life and build serious resilience, the strange thing is that the two professions that are the least resilient and the least engaged in the world are Teaching and Nursing! How can that be when as he says these are the two professions in the world that probably have the clearest sense of purpose? Who would not want to uplift the future of the globe through teaching and helping kids grow and learn, and at the same time, to save lives and help those in pain? Surely, these two have the clearest and most noble purpose!

Yet Nurses he tells us have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders that are twice as high as soldiers returning from the battlefront and (we would add) given the state of some schools these days Teachers probably feel daily like they have been in a battle before it’s even lunchtime!

Why is there this gap?

What Marcus has noticed is that it simply does not matter what your Why is, if the What you are doing everyday, doesn’t energise you.

Activities are energetic, they can either uplift you because they have love in them, or crush you if they don’t. So it doesn’t matter if you deeply believe in your Purpose, you will either be turbocharged or be dragged down. He is not arguing that the Why and Purpose are not important, as he says, it absolutely is, but if the What you are doing crushes your soul, this is too powerful. The ‘What’ trumps the ‘Why’. The ‘Why’ and ‘Purpose’ by itself is not enough. He tells us you have to figure out what the activities are in the day that actually energize you. They either have love in them, or they don’t.

Listening to Marcus, so much started to make sense. We are so lucky to deal daily with incredible Lionesses who are changing the world, saving lives, creating essential employment around them, and uplifting communities. Yet so often we notice that however strong, uplifting, and earth-shattering their ‘Purpose’, their ‘Why', the love starts to go out of their business. What we have found is that they are getting bogged down in the mud, in the weeds of running a business, with all its growing pains, with all the issues that employing people and having agents and distributors and suppliers bring daily, to say nothing of accountants and lawyers!

They are slowly but surely being drowned by exhaustion. That is why we love our title photo this week - ‘The Fountain of Exhaustion’ by the Ukrainian artist Pavlo Makov. That bright flowing energy so full of life at the top being poured into our very Being, slowly dissipates into the myriad of issues that grow and grow as each stage appears, until at last there is hardly a drop of energy left. Makov created the metaphor of the fountain that is exhausting itself, rather than the usual fountain we see exploding water skyward with power (here).

If you are energized by your activities daily - how brilliant is that? But if not…how can we change this downward path within ourselves and our businesses before it becomes all-consuming, before the stress just becomes too much and total exhaustion takes over, and we and our businesses die out?

The answer lies in trust. Look at how you trust your team. Do you dive in and take over because you can do it quicker? Do you dive in and take over because only you have the vision? Do you dive in and take over because you do not trust others to do it? Do you dive in and take over because you feel you need to show strong leadership because so many depend on you? Do you dive in and take over because….

Take a moment out of your business to look at what truly energizes you, then find a way to give the responsibility for the other stuff that for you are the weeds to various members of your team, who may actually enjoy those parts of the business. This is crucial. Remember your employees are not stupid, they know you, they look up to you, and they love your Purpose, but they will recognize this exhaustion, this drop in love, and will start (if they are not already) to also take on this exhaustion from you that will build upon their natural worries that they have about home, family, community and of course as the business struggles, whether your business will even survive and with that their job.

This is where your leadership comes into its own. You must for the good of the business start to trust your team more by increasing the responsibilities they each have. Start small as they will make mistakes (we are only human), but the responsibility will allow your team to grow and mature and in turn, take more responsibility allowing you to do more of what you love.

As Melanie wrote in one of her GML posts (here):

“…an article on managing entrepreneur stress caught my attention. It quoted the famous saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” meaning that when we get really stressed and are heading for burnout, we are not helping ourselves, our businesses, or our employees. As hard as it is right now, trying to keep our businesses going through these tough times, and taking care of ourselves is also imperative. It is essential to dedicate time to ensuring we stay healthy, calm, energized, and focused. We will need all of these attributes to get us through this situation. So, no matter how much work there is to do, or how many challenges you are dealing with, you need to also recharge yourself at the end of each day. Remember that as an empty cup, you are no use to anyone. You have a responsibility to yourself, the business, and your employees, to manage your stress levels and take care of yourself. The calmer you are, the better you will be able to make the necessary decisions to steer your business forward into the future.”

You cannot make the necessary decisions to steer the business forward if you are stuck in the weeds. Cut yourself free and energize yourself!

Stay safe.