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Send the elevator down

September 20, 2020 Melanie Hawken
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by Moyosola Kara

Women empowerment shouldn’t be a fad, a trend you embody because you feel you ought to; as a black woman charting her path to success I’m about to say what needs to be said - an unpopular opinion you didn’t request but which I will give to you anyway.

In my time in Media, PR and Corporate Communications, I have seen so many women - especially in the older generation - tear down the next woman, project insecurities towards the young and naive, and cause their fellow woman to lose out on opportunities because they were afraid they would take their spot. These same women were also the leading voices in women empowerment events that were supposed to motivate you to go forward and ‘take up space’ - just not theirs, obviously.

Now, it isn’t all doom and gloom. I have been very privileged, especially in the more recent years, to get into the company of women, who like me, were enthused when the next woman won. Because a win for her was a win for more like her, as not only would they gain access into these highly coveted rooms and positions, they would also hold the door open for many like her to seat at the proverbial table.

In my generation, I have seen women do fantastic things; break open issues that had been silenced for so long – rape and the systemic culture that allows it to thrive, sex for grades, abuse of clergy power for emotional and physical abuse, marriage and the role of a woman, and the list goes on. I have shed tears of joy shelling out and receiving great advice from my friends about the realities of issues you’re warned not to speak on at the bridal shower or the baby shower because your friends will steal your home - your baby too. It is this same notion that has permeated livelihoods and promoted non-sharing of opportunities, the fact that your friend will steal your job should you tell her about that great opportunity that just came up at your work place even though you two are in completely different fields.

For as long as I can recall, I have always made a point to make sure the women in my care, at work and outside of work, grow exponentially and are given the confidence boost they need to thrive. Sometimes, these women have risen so much, that they have been the one to present me with opportunities and give me the confidence boost I’m sometimes defaulting on - a gift that keeps on giving.

This note is not a dig at the women who should do better; it is a nod to those whose legacy will be solidly imprinted on the sands of time for the women who they have pulled up; it is also a note to those who struggle due to trauma, bad experiences or even backgrounds where they have been made to believe otherwise. Growth is nothing, if not shared. 


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Moyosola Kara is an innovative and self-motivated communication strategist and philanthropist who has dedicated herself to creating unique communication strategies while being a source of positive change through social impact. She graduated from the University of Pretoria with a Bachelor Degree in Economics and Law but with her wilful and determined spirit, she managed to make a swift career change into the communications and marketing industry, working with leading local and global brands. She is also the creator of the Sponsor a Mom network which strives to create opportunities and resources to improve the lives of single mothers in Nigeria and South Africa.

www.samnetwork.org | Instagram | Twitter | Email themoyosola@yahoo.com

In Guest Blog Tags Moyosola Kara, Women's Empowerment
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An elegant floral gifting idea… Mariana Agness Francisco Eria is a creative force in contemporary floral design. Her business, The House of Agness, is a luxury florist and gifting boutique nestled in Map Image of the Day / Abiola Olusola

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