by Deborah Hartung, founder of Pivot PeopleTech

Life gets hard, that’s for sure! And when times are tough, we could all do with a little help in surviving those tough times and getting ‘back to good’. For the most part, none of us like admitting to others when we are facing a tough time in business or in our personal lives. We tend to ‘grin and bear it’ and convince ourselves that the burden is ours to bear. You are NOT alone, and in your darkest times, don’t listen to your fear, listen to hope!

Here are the 5 top tips (and songs) that I have personally found to be useful during challenging times:

1. Acknowledge your Feelings

So, something really bad has happened. Take a deep breath. Sit with ‘it’ – whatever ‘it’ is. Allow yourself to feel the emotions you are feeling, be it disappointment or anger or sadness. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t allow yourself to wallow and feel sorry for yourself, because this just breeds a victim mentality. Acknowledge your feelings so that you can start taking positive action and move toward the future.

Listen to “Not in my Blood” by Sean Mendes and don’t you dare give up, girl. It isn’t in your blood!

2. You’ve survived 100% of the tragedies & challenges you have faced

That’s right. You are a bad-ass warrior, that’s for sure! You have faced adversity in the past and you have always, always, survived. Remind yourself of this when you are facing a tough time. You have an unbeaten track record, girl! Nothing and nobody is going to defeat you. You will do the work you need to do and make the changes you need to make, even if they weren’t part of your original plans.

Listen to ‘Conqueror’ ft. Estelle & Jussie Smollett (from the Empire Soundtrack) You will find a way to survive this awful time and you will rise above it because you’re a conqueror and you won’t admit defeat!

3. Things don’t happen ‘to’ you, they happen ‘for’ you

This is a really, really hard one to face and I especially, have had some serious challenges with this one in my life because I’m such a control freak.

Trust me when I tell you that there is always a lesson to be learned and there is usually something good that comes from even the toughest of times. Sometimes we learn something about ourselves. We find strength or wisdom or courage we never knew we had. Sometimes, one door closes and it leads us to a much better place, even if we cannot see it at first. So, once you have sat with your feelings for a while and you are over the worst anger and the worst pain, remove yourself from the situation emotionally and look at what the lesson or opportunity could possibly be for you. Talk to a trusted friend and let them help you remember how strong you are or how things have worked out better for you in the end.

Listen to “Shine” by Meredith Brooks Like a diamond in the rough, you’re always so resilient!

4. The only way Out, is Through

I know, this is such a cliché and the last thing that you want to hear when you are going through a tough time. But it’s true! Focus on the fact that you will get through it – no matter what it is! Nothing lasts forever and being stuck in the past or stressing about the future, isn’t going to change the ‘now’. Start taking positive action to get you through this and help you arrive on the other side as a victor. If it means cementing relationships with existing clients or hitting the new business development, hard, then that’s what you do. If it means cutting your losses and walking away from a failed initiative or a toxic relationship that you poured your heart and soul into, then you have the right to do exactly that. Just let go and walk away from what is holding you back. Focus on the positives in the future. Get back to basics and back to what makes you so ‘younique’. You can do this and you can get back to the top – you can rise even higher than before!

Listen to “Hall of Fame” by The Script ft. will.i.am. You can walk straight through hell with a smile!

5. Practice Self Care and Have Some Fun

Don’t let that inner critic of yours, out! Don’t let her get the upper hand and make you question everything about yourself or question your abilities and your strengths. Just because you are going through a tough time, doesn’t mean that you have to punish yourself or cut yourself off from the world or that you aren’t allowed to have some fun. Make the time to rest and take care of yourself. Get some exercise, be sure to eat healthily and do some fun stuff that reminds you of who you are.

Listen to: “Don’t be so hard on yourself” by Jess Glynne.

Above all, during this time, be kind to yourself and remember that this too, shall pass because tough times don’t last – tough women do!

Deborah Hartung is a consultant, coach, author and speaker, and the founder of Pivot PeopleTech. She loves helping entrepreneurs find their unique voice and leadership style in order to empower them to create amazing places where people truly want to work. She has spent the majority of her career in HR and labour relations management and consulting, gaining experience in all fields related to the human experience in the workplace. While her main focus remains on consulting, coaching and training in the HR and labour relations space, Deborah is passionate about people and technology and the opportunities for the advancement of humanity in the digital age. Professionally, Deborah is known as an HR turnaround specialist with a proven track record in improving workplace culture, employee engagement and organisational effectiveness. www.pivotpeopletech.co.za