by Lizl Naude

Friendship between women can be the most beautiful thing. It can be a safe place and is very important to your overall well-being. But...it can also be challenging. And as we navigate through seasons and life, it can sometimes also be very heart-breaking.

I have learned this as I have grown older. I also had to face the fact, that I wasn't naturally out there looking for friendship. I was busy juggling my life, my family, my home, my business. And somewhere along the lines, some valuable friendships were lost, or let me re-phrase...some of them expired.

Let me tell you the story of my bestie, Landa and me. I recall the day we made a pact to be each other's best friend. They came from Johannesburg to visit us, and the two of us decided to have some alone time and walked over to the local coffee shop, about 6 minutes’ walk away from our home. We had been friends since around 2011. We met on an urban hike through the CBD. When we moved to Johannesburg, I had a desire to learn about the history of the city and started a hiking group in 2011 to explore the city, and it's surrounds, once a month.

On this particular Saturday, as we walked through the streets, at a steady pace, she told me of her goal to open a Montessori school. She struck me as a very ambitious and goal-driven person. The hike ended and we didn't see each other again for a few years. Until we moved to a different neighborhood and I drove past her on the street. I recognized her, stopped and we started chatting again. She proudly told me she had opened her school! I was so excited and impressed with her success! In fact, she enrolled our youngest daughter as one of her first students! We were great friends, and our times together were always special and refreshing.

Fast forward to 2018 to our coffee date. Time had passed, we both had matured, and both had disappointments in our friendships. I opened up to her about a few failed friendships and how hurt I felt. She did the same. Then, without thinking about it, I came up with this weird idea. Why don't we become each other's best friends? Everything about the idea at the time seemed absurd. (Me still scratching my head and grinning). Don't friendships just happen? Don't you just casually click and feel a connection with someone, and become besties, without even initially acknowledging it? It's an unspoken relatedness, that is not always announced. It's just a knowing.

So here we were, in a busy coffee shop, being vulnerable as to our friendship disappointments and needs, and we made that pact! We agreed to become each other's best friends. Whatever that meant for us! We decided not to put the conventional pressures on ourselves as to what this would look like. We didn't even know what this would look like at the time. We just agreed that we would talk whenever we could. When we had time to catch up, we would. No pressure, just a knowing that we will take care of one another when needed. Whew! What a relief! Two adults making a grown-up decision to be friends... to pursue each other intentionally.

So, this is us. Landa and me. My bestie and me. Sometimes months go by without us making contact. But both our hubbies and kids know, we are besties! Hehehe! The other day she and her family came to visit us again, and her Mom called to check in with them. Landa passed the phone to me so I could say hi. We chatted a bit and her Mom says to me: “Whenever I see you on TV Lizl, I always say to Landa, 'Your best friend is on TV again!'.” This warmed my heart. She has announced to the world that we are best friends. It makes me feel wanted and loved. A sense of belonging in the complex world of women friendships.

Now just like I admitted to needing a best friend in my personal life, it made me wonder if I needed a bestie in business. Surely I need someone who can relate to my journey as an entrepreneur? Someone who I can trust and bounce ideas off? Someone who understands my struggles and fears? Someone who has my best interests at heart and will intentionally market my value to her network. And obviously I do the same for her! Someone who can be my plus 1 for networking events. Someone who can give me a PEP talk on my down days. A cheerleader who will root for me when I pitch to a very important client. But also, someone who will warn me if I'm on the wrong track. Or keep me in check? Someone who will intercede for me when she knows I need it. Someone to fix my crown and I fix hers! That one who will laugh and cry with me! Is she still out there? Do I need her? YES I DO! I need every one of her.

Today, I want to challenge you to check your business inner circle, and intentionally reach out to someone who you want to pursue a relationship with. I want to put a test to you to also make yourself available to be a best friend to another girl in business. Put yourself out there and make an effort to deliberately be available for a fellow woman entrepreneur.

From experience, I can say there comes a time when you have to pursue bonds purposefully and fiercely with women on a friendship level, even more so in business! In plain language, we need each another. Do you realize our economy needs us? Our businesses play an integral part in building our nation, and that is why we need each other's support!

Will you invite another lady in business for a coffee and ask her to be your business bestie?

“Stronger women build stronger nations.” — Zainab Salbi

Lizl Naude is the founder of Lilly Loompa in South Africa, a company that creates beautiful and usable products made with recycled material. Lilly Loompa's “Rubbish Range” is the result of Lizl's craving to deliver pieces that are completely "green". Lizl is a self-taught designer and initially started designing and making furniture because she couldn’t afford to buy new pieces to furnish her home. She started to scout and source for budget material and quickly realised that most people discard of very usable materials. The company manufactures a variety of products, from storage holders, lamps, to dinner table accessories, among others. All materials are carefully sourced from waste and sustainably reimagined as beautiful, yet purposeful products. Eco-friendly, handcrafted and 100% South African, each Lilly Loompa piece, once trash, is now a meaningful piece of treasure.