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It’s all  relative how we travel, but it’s always better to travel together 

September 4, 2021 Melanie Hawken

by Lionesses of Africa Operational Department

Let’s get something straight before we start. There is no universal truth that is time. Time for one person is very different for another. To give you an example: Time for a football team defending a 1-0 scoreline in the dying 2 minutes of the Cup Final is very different for the attacking team trying to score the goal that would take the final into extra time. For the defenders the clock ticks sooooooooo slowly, for the attackers it seems as if the clock jumps as it races towards the final whistle.

This is what Einstein meant when he wrote in the Special Theory of Relativity, that time is relative - in other words, the rate at which time passes depends on your frame of reference. In this case the ‘frame of reference’ is the Cup Final, but this ‘frame of reference’ is owned by you and by whoever you are dealing with, yet bizarrely has different values to each! This is essential to understand.

Screen Shot 2021-09-04 at 6.43.00 PM.png

In a shout-out to our large and fabulous Lionesses of Africa membership in South Africa, and to inject a bit of humour into our discussion before Professors across the globe start writing to Melanie, shocked that we should turn volumes of sacred work by the great Einstein into two (very) simplified paragraphs, we know for example that there is a large difference  in South Africa between:

“We’ll do it now” 

or…. 

“We’ll do it ‘now-now’”

Or “just now” … 

or even “right now”!

To solve this issue once and for all, flush from watching the fabulous webinar to announce the results of our South African Women Entrepreneurs Job Creators Research Survey (download the report here), we decided to run our own survey (seriously - the incredible Dr. Linda Zuze, our Head of the Lioness Data Unit can’t have all the fun!), and asked some of our South African Lionesses to explain the nuances of time in South Africa. “What is time based upon ‘now now’ and where does it come in the pecking order of ‘just now’, ‘now’ and ‘right now’?” we asked.

Little did we realize what a pandora’s box we were opening with some very humorous replies (one shown in our title screenshot from the Diamond Guru Clare Appleyard of katannutadiamonds.co.za), all agreeing it was good to giggle!

Interestingly, the results did differ (confirming our opening statement rather nicely we thought!), but on the whole we were able to get some kind of consensus. In South Africa if you want to get something done urgently, here are the time frames you must consider:

“Right Now” - is as close to immediate you can get, apparently.

Then comes “Now Now”. 

Followed by “Just Now”.

Then finally, “Now” (as one Lioness ‘helpfully’ explained to us: “Tone also matters with ‘now’, but I would say ‘now’ is the most abstract”.)

“Abstract”?! Now there is a term concerning time that we never saw in Einstein’s tomes. However, as a CEO in a company it’s these subtle differences that do indeed make all the difference. Time is so different for everyone depending on so many variables and this is not just in South Africa. As an owner and CEO there are many days where you squeeze 36 hours into a day (especially if you are also a mother!), then go into the office the next day and do the same again! As an employee (for some) 9-5 plus a one hour lunch break and a Tea break at 11 and 3 is a religion - and both are perfectly fine (well perhaps not the 36 hours bit - we so need to talk!). We are not here to judge.

Time is relative in all of those situations, indeed the employee rushing out at 5pm might be heading home to cook supper for their little one, before rushing out to do a night shift to pay all the bills - we simply do not know, that is why to judge is just so dangerous.

As CEOs and owners of a business, we have to be especially aware that not everyone ticks like us. If you have a project that has suddenly come through the door and needs to be done immediately there is a tendency to yell “All hands on deck” and make your problem, everyone’s problem. 

That is simply not fair. 

Yes, you have built a fabulous team, yes, everyone pulls in the same direction and gets things done, but there are three things that differentiate you, the owner and CEO from them. These are:

a) You own the business

b) You own the business 

And…

c) All of the above 

Again - ‘relativity’ at work. What you see as the company, is different from your managers’ view which is different from your sales teams’, which is different from your factory workers. These all have differing ‘frames of reference’, yet all are correct and all are fair.

In yet another seriously amazing Lioness Lean In Webinar this week sponsored by VW, we heard from Cheryl Benadie founder of Whole Person Academy who told us: “We need to be careful not to leave a part of ourselves behind when we have experienced trauma or faced ongoing stress. There is power to be found in embracing wholeness”. That is so true (as an aside, we were very glad for the box of tissues nearby - these Lean-ins can be very emotional at times). But that is equally true for our employees.

At a time when so many people have had their mental capacity stretched through fears over jobs, fears over death and fears over life that may never return, we have to be so careful with others’ ‘frames of reference’, their ability to cope and also as worrisome, their ability to hide. Melanie in one of her morning blogs this week promised that as Lionesses of Africa we will ensure no woman entrepreneur in Africa is left behind (see here) and knowing Melanie - this is a very serious promise. As a Lioness, it is your responsibility to ensure no employee is left behind, however well they hide.

Stress for you will be very different for stress for all of your employees (relativity again!), but the sooner we as leaders understand this, the sooner we can work better rather than constantly trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. 

According to McKinsey (here):

“…here is nothing inherently negative about the physiological side of stress. It is a hormonal jolt of adrenaline and cortisol brought on by our sympathetic nervous system that gives us a boost of physical energy and mental focus to confront an actual or perceived threat. In a normal stress response, when the threat passes, the heightened state is followed by calming effects of our parasympathetic nervous system, a natural brake returning us to a state of recovery and rest. Our body and mind calm, we restore our resources, and we prepare for the next challenge.”

Note “when the threat passes….”. If you continue to pile stress onto your managers and workers, they will collapse. If there is panic after panic after panic, or as usually -  overpromised too short deadlines agreed with clients, followed by overpromised too short deadlines agreed with clients, followed by overpromised too short deadlines agreed with clients, your team will suffer and you will only have yourself to blame. Studies have shown that if there is no time for recuperation following a stress event, then stress builds and like fat in an artery, this will just build upon itself until it pops.

So what can you as a Lioness do?

You have done the impossible and held onto as many staff as possible through these tough times. You yourself have over-stressed yourself, you have cut your own salary, indeed have had months where you did not pay yourself in order to keep on your workers (as confirmed in our South African Women Entrepreneurs Job Creators Survey here):

Screen Shot 2021-09-04 at 6.40.11 PM.png

Yet, the market is beginning to pick up, you are being offered business that would only otherwise go to your competition. Your competition is getting stronger, just when you thought you were out into the blue skies again, you are now struggling under the weight of fresh and (always) urgent demand for your products/services. What can you do?

Contrary to popular belief, you are not immortal, you are not a goddess, you do not have the capacity to solve everything and serve everyone. With that in mind - neither are your employees, many of whom may be Mothers. According to HBR (here): “Mothers are twice as likely as fathers to worry that their caregiving responsibilities will garner negative perceptions of their work performance.” - as if life wasn’t tough enough for Mothers! But really - how well do you know your employees? Are they rushing home to be with their little ones? Is there a chance to make their lives a little easier by creating a creche for them at work? Perhaps club together with other businesses to create a safe space for children? Your business will do better as will all the others just through this small act of kindness.

This is all part of finding the balance - for you and your employees whilst not judging. Never judge, as we wrote above, none of us know what is going on in others’ lives, but by knowing a little and perhaps beginning to understand their ‘frame of reference’, a large improvement can start.

So start to (if you are not already) be aware of your employees, take time to chat, not about work but outside issues - floods, storms, bus strike, you name it - but then Listen.

Don’t be afraid to show that you are human. You might think that in tough times, you must stand head and shoulders above all, unmoving and with goddess like strength. But funnily enough this just makes you seem detached from your employees and from reality. Your employees already trust you to make the right decisions (or at least the right decisions with the right motives), but if you appear uncaring or seem to fail to notice what is going on in the world outside, they may fear that you are not noticing or worse, really don’t care. It is ok to be not ok. That also applies to you.

If someone is sick, in trouble or has a relative that has died, do not ignore this. Show them you care. Small words at these times or small actions go a very long way. Time off to grieve or help to get to a hospital means so much.

Lastly, lean on your super strength as a Lioness. Empathy. Start to notice small changes in people. Find someone in your team who is good at this if it isn’t your strength. Again, no judgement, we are all different thank goodness - life would be very dull if we were all the same! But ask them to give you a small ‘heads-up’ if there is someone struggling for whatever reason and wherever their ‘frame of reference’.

Then look at your company - relax a little, smile a lot, celebrate the wins, however small - your employees will visibly blossom in the meeting room or factory floor if you show you noticed. The smiles generated will feed your soul as well as theirs.

Underpromise and overdeliver. Really - that is far far better than the opposite - overpromising and underdelivering which somehow up until now your amazing Team, a calm Duck on the surface, but paddling like mad beneath the surface, has managed to avoid. 

Inject a bit of humour into your business. As our South African Lionesses agree and especially during these stressful times, it is occasionally good to giggle!

Lastly, remember you are a Lioness - we go Further Together. So as Melanie promised for woman entrepreneurs in Africa, so you for your employees -  

Leave no one behind.

Stay safe.

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