by Jess Mostert

Emotions. Two in particular - FEAR and LOVE. It is these that drive and influence every thought and direct every response. It is what makes us run- towards certain things, and away from others. It is these emotions that stop us from living our lives or force us to live our lives!

It is these emotions that make us feel so strongly: that pull us so strongly towards something or someone or that drive us away from the same scenario quicker than we can even control.

How many times do you think back on a situation or a decision, that now leaves you with regret, and ask yourself why you acted a certain way, or why you said what you said? Nine times out of ten, the answer will be because you acted in the moment - letting your emotions take the lead. You did something or said something because you felt scared, or simply because you felt love. Emotion-based decision making can be positive and lead to good things, but it can also be very toxic and lead to feelings of regret, anger, guilt and unhappiness. Like everything in life, it is important that our decisions are based on both emotion and logic; we need to have balanced decision-making skills.

Whether it's dating someone who treats you horribly, or wasting money on something you can’t actually afford, your feelings can lead you astray if you're not careful. Sometimes we let someone get away with too much in a relationship and when asked why, the answer is ‘because I love them’ or, ‘I’m scared I will lose them if I say something’… Maybe it means turning down a job opportunity out of fear that you think you will not be good enough. Whatever the scenario, if we simply act on emotion alone- it is not going to be good for our emotional well-being and self-development.

Heightened emotions, hazy decisions!

There is so much anxiety, uncertainty, and fear amongst us now. The fear of this Covid-19 disease itself; the fear of what it means for us, our families and our world; the fear of loss in all of its financial, emotional and physical forms. The world over has never needed to make such BIG and DRASTIC decisions, let alone in such a short period with very little knowledge. Let us try to make these decisions with mindfulness and balance- balancing our emotions with logic. When we are experiencing these emotions, it is easy for our judgement to become clouded and for our logic to disappear.

There have also been so many decisions and choices that are made purely from a place of love during this time; the generosity and kindness has been awe-inspiring to say the least. You don’t have to look far to see this.

How do we go about making decisions that are balanced?

Ideally, when making a decision, one should follow the following steps:

Identify the decision.
Gather relevant information.
Identify the alternatives.
Weigh the evidence.
Choose among alternatives.
Take action.
Review your decision.

Obviously, the time taken will depend on the magnitude of the choice and/or decision. This is obviously also a logical route to exploring your choices. All our decisions will come from an emotional state, we cannot turn this off- but balancing our emotions with reason and logic will help us to make GOOD emotional decisions rather than BAD emotional decisions. The difference? Taking time to properly identify your emotion, processing why you feel that way and choosing your better option.

This period has also taught us so much about our emotions. We all know what emotions are, and we feel them all day, every day- but how often do we THINK about them? This time has been perfect for people to spend time on themselves, becoming self-aware and navigating through emotions they have previously ignored. People have had time to identify their fears and hone in on their loves. It has allowed people to focus on those closest to them and to spend time doing the simple things in life- falling in love with the basics all over again.

Jess Mostert is a mom of two little boys with a background in Psychology, Special Needs Facilitating and Teaching. Her interest has always been people and her passion has always been helping. Most recently, after starting an Online Mind, Body and Wellness business with a friend, Jess registered as a Specialist Wellness Counsellor. Being a Specialist Wellness Counsellor is a way of life for Jess. She believes that wellness is our greatest tool in preventing illness, and our greatest asset to achieving happiness. It is her goal to share this vision and help people achieve contentment. www.connectablelife.com