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You are exactly where you want to be!

May 25, 2019 Melanie Hawken
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by Phindile Ndlovu, Founder and Director of Bhekizenzo Foundation 

Confession time. What is it that you do that stops you from being the best version of yourself? Let’s cut out the buzzwords and be real - what are doing to stop you from living the life you want? 

Nicole Capper at the Working Moms Club, said: “You are exactly where you want to be.” At first I got a bit defensive - I am a mom, busy with deadlines and deliverables to attend to. I have bills and I have responsibilities. Then I paused and thought for a minute. I still manage with all that stress to sleep for 8 hours!

You would expect someone who has taken as many roles as I have must not sleep right? But I do. Yes, I wake up to feed 3 times in a night, but I sleep well. Now I am not advocating for bad sleeping patterns and practices, but we need to be strategic with our time. 6 hours of sleep is enough, and you can rest on the weekends. Time management can help us use our days effectively. Time management means having clear goals for the day and sticking to them and not sleeping until they are done. 

I am tempted to say I am the master of this, but I am not. I put things down on my to do list and I move some of them over to the next day. I am exactly where I want to be. This notion does not mean we are happy with where we are, but it simply means we are not putting in the work that is required to move forward. Now, do we really want success if we are too lazy to go after it? How do we practically go after it when after a long day at work, there is a baby to entertain and a husband to love and proposals to send out? All this may force you to give up on the day and head over to bed because the stress is to much. 

So, how should we manage this when our brains feel burnt out and force us to sleep and convince us that we deserve it because “we work too hard?” Well, I say do it. Go to bed - but wake up on time! Do not sleep and wake up in the morning starting a new day. Do not close the day, cut out the day and night, and sleep when you need to and burn the midnight oil when you must. Confusing right? Let me make an example of my schedule and roles. This is how I plan to have a circular day, where a day flows into the next and my goals are met everyday meeting the deadlines and being present as a family woman. 

I get home at 6pm. My baby should be in bed at about 9. I should in fact be trying to get him in bed by 8pm. 8pm till 9 pm should be quality time with my husband, then all lights should be off, and we are all sleeping after this hour. From 9pm- 3pm is undisturbed sleep with feedings here and there. 3am till 5am - this should be the time that I work on my entrepreneurial ventures, I could go back to sleep for an hour or gym so that is 06:30 and I am ready to start the day. 

This is what I plan to implement from the next week. I encourage everyone to find 3 hours somewhere in the 24 hours we are given. These are the hours you will use to work on yourself and get the life you want. Study, write the proposals or start some work so you can have time in the day to call clients and be in meetings. We all have the time. It is about managing it according to your roles and preferences. 

Remember, millionaires did not sleep for 8 hours straight before they became millionaires. Catch up on sleep on the weekend. Let’s do it!


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Phindile Ndlovu is passionate about Community Development pertaining skills development and education for the youth. She is experienced in driving life changing community development campaigns. Passionate about self-development and leadership, she works and speaks with young people across the Gauteng Province in South Africa, motivating and coordinating her vision and goal setting workshops through her organization, Bhekizenzo Foundation. Her skillset is based on project design, brand awareness and organizational surveys, amongst many others. Phindile has strong, professional media and communications expertise, particularly with event coordination and campaign strategy planning. She has obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Political Studies and Sociology at the University of Witswatersand Johannesburg. Learn more.

 

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