I was recently invited to speak to a group of women entrepreneurs at GIBS University in South Africa. Part of the conversation was around Impostor Syndrome and decision making. How do you know when to take certain decisions both personal and business, and the doubt that comes with it? So I shared something I have learned the hard way…
We often speak about doubt as if it's merely a gap in knowledge - a temporary state to move through on our way to certainty. "Once I have enough information," we tell ourselves, "I'll know what to do." But what if doubt serves a deeper psychological purpose? What if uncertainty isn't just an obstacle to clarity but sometimes a deliberate, if unconscious, strategy to avoid the consequences of being clear?
The Hidden Function of Uncertainty
Consider how common it is to remain in a state of prolonged indecision about life's most consequential choices: whether to leave a relationship, quit a job, move to a new city, or confront a difficult truth. We frame this indecision as a quest for clarity, but this framing often masks a deeper dynamic.
Deep down, many of us understand that achieving clarity triggers responsibility. Once you know, you must act - and action brings consequences. This creates a peculiar incentive structure where remaining uncertain becomes oddly valuable.
The Double Bind of Clarity
Achieving clarity often presents us with a double bind - two options, both demanding significant courage:
If you become clear that you should stay in a troubled relationship, for instance, you now face the responsibility of committing fully. No more keeping one foot out the door. No more mental escape hatches. You must invest completely in making it work, which requires vulnerability, effort, and risk.
If, on the other hand, you become clear that you should leave, you face an even more daunting prospect: the pain of separation, the guilt of causing hurt, the uncertainty of what comes next, and the fear of regret.
Given these challenging options, doubt begins to look surprisingly attractive. It provides a comfortable middle ground - a holding pattern that shields us from both difficult commitments and painful separations.
The Alibi of Uncertainty
"I would make a decision if only I had clarity."
This statement represents one of the most effective psychological alibis we give ourselves. By framing our inaction as a product of insufficient information rather than fear or avoidance, we transform hesitation from a weakness into a virtue. We're not avoiding; we're being thorough. We're not afraid; we're cautious.
This alibi is particularly effective because it contains a grain of truth—decisions do require information. But this truth often obscures the reality that we frequently have sufficient information but lack sufficient courage.
The Strategic Quest for Contradictory Advice
Have you noticed how people in prolonged states of indecision often seek advice from multiple sources? There's wisdom in gathering perspectives, certainly. But sometimes this advice-seeking serves another function: the collection of contradictory opinions that justify continued uncertainty.
"My friend thinks I should stay, but my sister thinks I should leave. My therapist says I need to decide for myself. It's all so confusing!"
This confusion can be genuinely distressing, but it also conveniently relieves us of the burden of action. We haven't failed to act; we've simply received unclear guidance. Our indecision is not our fault.
The Guilt-Reduction Function
Sometimes we ask questions not to find answers but to reduce guilt. By demonstrating that we're "working on" a problem - researching options, consulting experts, weighing pros and cons, we prove (to ourselves and others) that we take the issue seriously, even as we avoid resolving it.
This pattern appears frequently in areas like financial planning, health decisions, or relationship problems. The appearance of effort substitutes for the discomfort of action.
The Clarity We Already Have
Perhaps the most revealing aspect of this dynamic is how often, when pressed, people can articulate exactly what they believe they should do, they just don't feel "ready" to do it.
"I know I should probably leave, but..." "Deep down, I know I need to confront this, but..." "Part of me knows this isn't working, but..."
These statements reveal that clarity isn't actually the missing ingredient. What's missing is the willingness to bear the consequences of that clarity.
Breaking the Pattern
Recognizing that doubt sometimes serves as protection rather than merely a lack of information can help us approach our uncertainties differently:
Distinguish between information gaps and courage gaps. Ask yourself: "If I had to decide right now, what would I choose?" Your immediate answer often reveals that clarity exists beneath the doubt.
Acknowledge the fear. Rather than focusing exclusively on gathering more information, examine what you fear about each potential outcome. What would be challenging about commitment? What would be painful about change?
Take small experimental steps. Complete clarity rarely precedes action. More often, clarity emerges from taking small steps and observing how they feel.
Challenge perfectionism in decision-making. Many decisions don't require 100% certainty. Living with some degree of uncertainty is inevitable in most meaningful choices.
Recognize the cost of indecision. While doubt feels protective in the short term, prolonged uncertainty exacts its own price in stress, stagnation, and lost opportunities.
The Courage to Know
There's a peculiar courage required not just to act on what we know but to allow ourselves to know in the first place. Sometimes the most difficult step isn't doing the hard thing, it's acknowledging that we know what the hard thing is.
The strange value of staying in doubt isn't in the wisdom it brings but in the difficult truths and actions it allows us to avoid. When we recognize this pattern, we can finally move forward - even if that first step feels uncertain.
Perhaps true clarity isn't the absence of doubt but the willingness to act meaningfully despite it.
Seanice Lojede is the founder of BLU Flamingo Africa, a pan-African tech-enabled integrated marketing communications company headquartered in South Africa, with branches in Nigeria, Kenya, Uganda, and Rwanda. With a master’s degree in digital marketing and as an alumna of the prestigious Stanford Seed program, Seanice is a tech-savvy marketing leader whose data-driven strategies and cutting-edge marketing technologies have helped global companies crack the Sub-Saharan African market. Her recent accolade as the South African Woman of Stature Entrepreneur of the Year 2024 is a testament to her multifaceted talents and her unwavering drive to succeed.
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