by Lori Milner: author, entrepreneur, thought leader and founder of Beyond the Dress
Back in 2012, I knew I wanted to write a book that included interviews of amazing women to share their stories and insights. I didn’t know where to begin so I called Mandy Wiener, a well-known journalist. I had worked with her earlier that year on an event and reached out to her for advice. She was extremely helpful and at the end of coffee, I asked her which voice recorder she uses for her interviews.
I was really excited about starting this project but I convinced myself that I cannot possibly move ahead until I have the same recorder. So now 3 weeks go by and finally it arrives. I open the box. Stare at it and quietly put it into a drawer and find the next reason why I can’t possibly start.
In hindsight and reflecting on this, I realized 3 powerful things:
My excuses meant my fear was winning.
Nothing or no one can give me the permission to start, no one is coming.
Fundamentally, my beliefs hadn’t shifted. I still had not given myself permission to be the kind of person who can write a book, interview female leaders and achieve this goal.
And when the book deal eventually did become real, guess what – the recorder bombed out and I used my iPhone!
I now put the question to you - what is your recorder equivalent?
Are you waiting for a partner, a qualification, a bank balance to give you permission to achieve your big goal?
Don’t let fear win…give yourself permission to start even if you have no idea what the result is going to be. Beware of telling yourself you need a partner or this piece of paper to give you permission because it feels safer. Action takes care of that. You can’t control the results you’ll get. All you can do is control the ability to show up and take that first step. Remember use fear as the compass – when something gives you that pang of anxiety in your stomach – just remind yourself it’s the path to growth and the opportunity to learn.
Here’s to giving yourself permission,
LORI MILNER is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.
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