by Lori Milner: author, entrepreneur, thought leader and founder of Beyond the Dress
Welcome to 2018, it is amazing to be here. My overarching theme for 2017 which had a massive impact on my life is, ‘What is the story we tell ourselves?’ So, what is the story we tell ourselves? Often this story gets moulded from childhood by our parents and teachers on what we can, can’t, should or shouldn’t do.
Here's one: "I'm too old to make a difference, take a leap, change the game. Seth Godin suggests this is a seductive story, because it lets us off the hook. Obviously, the thinking goes, the deck (whichever deck you want to pick) is stacked against me, so no need to even imagine the failure that effort will bring. Better to just move along and lower my expectations.”
Ask yourself – have you told yourself a similar story in the past? I left a career in advertising and branding to pursue my life’s passion. I visualized my business card saying, ‘Speaker. Trainer. Author’ and I am living my dream every day. I didn’t quite know the exact steps of my journey and how I was going to arrive there. I worked hard, putting in the time, took a leap and shipped my work. However, the only thing I changed was my story. The story I told myself every day of what’s possible.
So, spend your time now thinking about your story and narrate your internal dialogue in a kind and encouraging way. How well you revisit the tone and content of your private voice is what determines the quality of your life. It is the master storyteller, and the stories we tell ourselves are our reality. For instance, how do you speak to yourself when you make a mistake that upsets you? Would you speak that way to a dear friend when they’ve made a mistake? If not, you have work to do. Trust me, we all have work to do.
“If you want to have more, do more, and be more, it all begins with the voice that no one else hears.” Tribe of Mentors, Tim Ferriss
Brené Brown so aptly writes, ‘If we own the story we get to narrate the ending. This puts you in charge of how the story is written’.
Wishing you an exciting 2018,
LORI MILNER is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.
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